Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant
by tectrices
Summary: Stuck in a class you hate? Forced to spend days with a guy you can't stand? Never fear there is an answer! In classic azureshipping style, discover all the things you never knew you wanted to know about Seto Kaiba. COMPLETE.
1. If Wishes Were Horses

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant_

* * *

Disclaimer:** (for the whole story) I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, and I am making no such claim. I use the characters in fan-fiction for non-profit fun and entertainment, and to satiate my own need to write. 

A/N: Well! Here we have the beginning of another story! This is a rather over-dramatic first chapter, and it doesn't exactly follow the style for the rest of the story. I must admit, I had fun writing it, though. I hope everyone enjoys it! So... here we go!

Pairing: Seto and Anzu (Unapologetic, all the way)  
Warnings: This is rated "T" for language. This chapter is relatively tame in that department, though.

* * *

If Wishes Were Horses...  
("_In Which the Business Begins and Jounouchi Loses his Pencil")_**

* * *

The clock is ticking... **

_5..._

_4..._

_3..._

_2..._

_1..._

And they're off!

_The bell rang. _

_Yugi pushed past the other students, trying desperately to be first down the hallway. It was elective sign-up day, and if he didn't get there quickly, he- and probably all his friends- would be stuck in a class that was destined to suck the fun out of the rest of the year. If he could just get to the clipboards... Maybe not first, but at least one of the leaders..._

First of our three champions out of the gate is _Short Stuff_, the favorite for today's race. He's in excellent form, looking tip-top as he propels down the track. He's confident, eager for a win here today after a rather disappointing season. The air is fresh and cool, the turf familiar, and all of the contenders looking fierce. Things could heat up quickly you know, and everyone's looking forward to seeing the final outcome.

"_Hey Yugi!" Jounouchi called from behind him, running along in the bustling herd of rampaging high-schoolers. "Save me a spot! I'm coming! I'm coming!" He held his trusty no. 2, bright yellow pencil in his hand, determined to grab a list and proudly jot down his illustrious name. Yes- that year, he would NOT be stuck in more of Sohma-sensei's Sewing (for-the-stupid) 101._

Oh, it appears someone's coming up on _Short Stuff_. Can't quite make out who it is- a rather shaggy brown mane in the way. Gaining... Still gaining... Whoa, and it looks like _Short Stuff_ just lost his lead!

_Jounouchi ran past Honda, flashing him a triumphant grin. Anzu was still somewhere in the back, feeling secure in leaving her fate solely in the hands of her friends. Picking up speed, he zipped past Yugi, hardly able to contain the "whoop" of joy that was begging to be released. Things were looking good, they were almost in the clear._

And it appears he was passed by none other than _the Brooklyn Blonde_, a long-time rival of notable standing. What a race, folks, it looks like things are really starting to escalate!

Who'll be the victor? I think it's safe to say that it's anybody's race. Looks like _Short Stuff_'s lagging behind. Probably lost his wind in that swift start. _The Brooklyn Blonde_ is pulling further ahead, passing another... and another... He's on his last lap, folks!

_There were about nine people in front of Jounouchi, but he ignored them. He wasn't going to let them interfere. Nine wasn't too many, right? He could probably take three guys by himself- and nine was just three three times, so... Well, that might take twice the effort or something, but he could do it. And he had his pencil so he could use that as a weapon if he had to. Yeah, he had his trusty... pencil..._

"_Oh shit!" he cried, hands on his head. "I can't find my pencil!" _

_He stopped mid-hallway and futilely scanned the floor for any trace ofhis lost implement of writing. Suddenly, he spotted it, about a foot or so in front of him. He reached down to grab it, only to have a cruel, careless foot kick it further away when he was halfway there. He groaned in defeat as it rolled down, down, down the hallway, further and further out of his reach. _

_He did the only thing he could do- ran after it wildly, arms flailing around like he was an idiot. _

What's this? _The Brooklyn Blonde_ looks like he's stumbling. He's... Well, still doing quite well, but he's wild- out of step. _Short Stuff_'s still lagging behind, with the third competitor... (er... _Honda_, is it?) still in last place. Things aren't looking good. Not good at all.

_By the time Yugi had reached the sign-up clipboards, a horde of students was already gathered around them, jostling and pushing and fiercely fighting in the game of "first come, first serve". He spotted Jounouchi on his hands and knees, crawling around on the ground. That was... odd, to say the very least._

"_What are you doing?" Yugi asked, "Why are you on the floor?"_

"_I lost my damn pencil!" he answered forlornly. "I can't find it! How are we supposed to sign-up if I don't even have the thing we're signing-up with?" He groaned in defeat. "What am I gonna do?"_

_Honda and Anzu came up beside Yugi. "Did you get our names down?" she asked. _

_Yugi shook his head. "Nope. Jounouchi lost his pencil. We can't put any names down yet."_

_Anzu glanced around. Seeing an opening, she called, "Just keep looking! I'll get us something good!" And with no fear, she plunged into the sea of students, pushing her way towards the wall._

_Honda and Yugi looked on in amazement._

_Suddenly, like a man possessed, Jou began jumping up and down excitedly, yelling something unintelligible as he held an arm proudly above his head. He waved it around wildly, whooping with joy. _

"_I found it! I found it!" he cried with unmatched enthusiasm. "My pencil- I've found it!"_

_With new-found strength and resolve, he barreled down the same path Anzu had taken, meeting up with her at the other side. With a quick thumbs-up to their two waiting friends, she grabbed a clipboard and he quickly jotted down their names._

Looks like the race is over, folks. Yes, it's over, and a damn good race it was.

* * *

"So Anzu," Yugi asked as they walked out of the school, "What did you and Jounouchi sign us up for? I hope it's good. Last year was... Um, educational." 

She laughed. "No, it should be fun. I signed us all up for 'Beginning Business I'. Sounds good, right?"

He nodded. "Anything's better than last year! Just about anything..."

* * *

End A/N: Man... Glad it's over, or eager for more? What will happen in the next chapter- will they all enjoy their new class, or will it be a lesson in torment? And how does Kaiba enter into it? Find out in the next exciting installment of... LIFESTYLES! -Chapter Two: Avarice and Altruism, (in which teachers are frightening and Kaiba is grumpy). 


	2. Avarice and Altruism

_**Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant

* * *

**_

A/N: Whoo! Here's chapter two of Lifestyles! Heh. This chapter is Ok, I think; I had fun writing it. It is a bit silly, though, but then again so is the whole story. I would like to say that much hard work and diligent thought went into it, but that would be lying. I just got finished writing it. Things didn't go exactly as I had planned, but when do they ever? The title doesn't really mean anything; it was supposed to, but I didn't have room. Alright- enjoy! (Read and REVIEW!)

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Avarice and Altruism  
_(In Which Teachers are Frightening and Kaiba is Grumpy) _

* * *

Room 214 of Domino High School was no different from any other room. One might even say that it was exactly the same. It had four walls, a door, a ceiling, and- as any room in any high school- a questionably clean floor. The interior was painted a dull white-ish color, nondescript and decidedly unmemorable. Even the door, mounted in just-another-hallway, sat plain and boring, waiting amidst the sea of lockers for someone to ask for entry.

Yugi and his crew of delightful characters were in fact, headed that way to do just that. They approached the normal, usual door on another normal, average day.

"Man, I can't believe we have to take this stupid class," Jounouchi whined. "I'm gonna be bored this whole stupid year!"

"That's what you always say," Anzu replied monotonously. "Give it at least a chance. We could have signed up for something else if you hadn't lost your pencil."

His answering whines went unheeded as Yugi opened the door.

"Come on," Yugi said with a sigh. "I'm sure it can't be that bad."

But unfortunately, in Jounouchi's opinion, it was in fact "that bad".

They had selected seats- and of course sat in them- and were patiently (and the term is used loosely) awaiting their teacher's arrival. Why she wasn't there, they didn't know, but they certainly weren't going to complain.

"You can't be serious," Jounouchi moaned as the classroom door opened. "Tell me this isn't happening."

"What's the matter with you?" Honda asked. "Why are you freaking out?"

Jounouchi pointed in obvious revulsion towards the door (and the person walking through it). "It's... _him_."

— (Cue Sexy Music and Indoor Fan) —

"_And here he is, everyone, Kaiba Seto, the bright young star of this season. Looking absolutely fetching, isn't he?"_

"_Oh yes, quite a handsome young man."_

— _His walk is proud and arrogant, every step another symbol of his inherent superiority. Thick brown hair falls enticingly over blue eyes, as his icy glare steals the hearts of women everywhere.— _

"_And just look at that ensemble! Who knew the school uniform look could be so..."_

"_I believe 'sexy' is the word you're looking for, dear."_

"_Why yes, that's exactly what I mean. And tempting, and absolutely delicious, too..."_

"_Be careful, or you'll end up ripping that nice uniform right off him."_

"_Oh, you're horrid!"_

"_Why yes, I am, aren't I?"_

"_But at any rate, here he comes. Ahh, he's been doing this his whole life, obviously. A natural if I ever saw one."_

"_That, or his trainer is incredible! Look at that poise, that grace! He certainly is... talented, isn't he?"_

"_After the show, I'll be sure and let you know."_

"_Now who's being naughty?"_

"_Oh hush. Those long, lean legs show off the straight-leg cut perfectly. That is a nice pant for his figure, wouldn't you agree?"_

"_Yes, a lovely length as well as a lovely cut. I don't know whose designs he's modeling, but my goodness whoever it is... An absolute genius! Even that jacket- the gold buttons embellish it nicely- really shows off the body-type of all these handsome young high-school boys."_

"_Yes, and that collar is quite flattering to the neck, isn't it?"_

"_It is, it is. An absolutely screaming look, altogether."_

"_Ahh, done with his first go- it looks like he's turning around to head back." _

"_Yes..."_

— _in unison — "Oh... my... God..."_

"_That is... Um... What an..."_

"_Darling, I know EXACTLY what you mean."_

—(And now back to our regularly scheduled chapter)—

"Not Kaiba!" Jounouchi moaned. "Why why why the hell does he have to be in here?"

"Um, it _is_ a business class," Anzu pointed out.

Jounouchi forlornly banged his head down upon his desk. "My life... It's over..."

Honda chuckled. "Get a grip! How bad can it be? I'm sure he won't even bother us."

"Get out of my way nerds," a cold voice sneered.

"H-hi Kaiba," Yugi said nervously. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"I'm in this class, obviously, you intellectually-challenged cretin. And you're in my way."

Anzu tried not to get angry. (At least, when the police asked for an explanation, that's what she told everyone.) "Do you have a problem or something, Kaiba?" she asked in a sugar-sweet voice dripping with attitude and malicious intent.

He sneered right back at her, a snide look in his impossibly blue eyes. "Yes Mazaki, there is a problem. You-" he pointed at her and her friends. "-and your little gang of miscreants, are all in my way. Move."

"There are desks all over the classroom," she said, gritting her teeth, "I think you can find another seat, or get to the one you want a different way. So go away and leave us all the hell alone."

He crossed his arms over his chest and prepared to stare her down. "No."

Jounouchi grinned and nudged Honda. Kaiba was about to get it, and get it good. When Anzu got mad enough, nobody could escape the magnitude of her wrath.

But suddenly...

"Hello everyone!" a happy voice trilled. A cheerful, attractive young woman stepped into the room, hair falling out of its bun and papers cluttered up in her arms. It was obviously their teacher. She was young, and very pretty. "I'll be your teacher for..." she looked down at her hand. "Beginning Business 1!" She smiled at them all, and then laughed. "No, I know what class this is. And we're going to have a wonderful year, I just know it."

She smiled again and sat down at her desk. "Perhaps you'd all like to take a seat?" She pointedly looked at Kaiba and Anzu.

Grudgingly, Anzu stepped out of the way. (Though in all fairness, she did cast his back a VERY nasty look.) Kaiba seemed to hesitate for a moment, then with a smirk of insufferable smugness, he seated himself directly behind her.

Anzu fumed inwardly. "I hate you so much," she muttered.

"And I really don't give a damn."

Suddenly, the teacher slammed her fist down on her desk. "Now, now. I really don't want any trouble," she said with a sweet smile, "But if you'd please refrain from talking as I call the roll. We'll begin shortly." She smiled again.

The class exchanged a worried look. Something about her was definitely a little off.

After the roll (everyone was present), she took out a piece of chalk and, humming happily to herself, began writing on the board. "My name is-"

"What's with her?" Honda muttered to Yugi and Jounouchi as she kept writing, her back turned. "I can't tell if she's nice or a total bitch. I have a feeling that this class is going to be an expericence."

"Excuse me," the very-same teacher said, leaning on Honda's desk. "Do you boys have a problem here?" She smiled disarmingly and batted her eyelashes a little. "I was just trying to give the class an introduction, and I couldn't help but notice that you were having a conversation without me. That just isn't nice. We want to participate too, don't we class?"

"Honda," Jounouchi muttered out of the corner of his mouth, "run NOW. That's the voice Mai uses whenever she wants something. You just can't say no; it's lethal- impossibly dangerous. Get out while you still have your pride, man!"

The teacher smiled again and then sat down on top of Honda's desk. "Honda, is it?" she cooed. "Please, tell us what you were talking about. We're all _dying_ to know."

He gulped nervously. She crossed her legs, and her already short skirt- that a teacher _really_ shouldn't have been wearing- rose even further on her legs. His eyes widened as he saw the lacy tops of her thigh-high stockings. He forced his eyes away. (Unfortunately, the place they landed was no better.) "I... I wasn't talking about anything. I d-didn't mean to interrupt."

She tapped the side of his face with a pencil. "There's a good boy." She winked and slid off his desk. Going back into respectable teacher mode, she said with much enthusiasm, "Now, I'll pass out some papers about our curriculum and syllabus. I hope you all enjoy your time with me." She cast a seductive glance discreetly at Honda. "I know I'll enjoy all of my time with you."

She took a few stacks of papers from her desk and began to pass them out.

Yugi tried to suppress a chuckle, but his efforts were futile. "Well," he said, "This class seems like it will be interesting."

Jounouchi winked at Honda and nodded. "Y'know Yug, I think I agree."

"Shut up," Honda growled. "Just leave me alone."

Even Anzu was giggling- though it was continually interspersed with glares towards the boy behind her. "Sorry," she said, "But they're right. I'm sure we'll all learn a lot." Yugi nodded emphatically with her, both trying hard to be serious. Needless to say, they failed.

The two papers got to their rows, meeting with a smirking Jou, a giggling Anzu, a quietly amused Yugi, and a sulking, frowning, not-pleased-about-being-teased Honda.

The bell rang soon after that, and all the students filed out obediently. Yugi and crew- and Kaiba, unfortunately enough- were some of the last ones to leave. "Out of my way, Kaiba," Anzu growled at him as he stood in front of the doorway stuffing something into his bag.

"I'll be through in a moment, Mazaki," he snarled back at her, "but I'm not moving until I finished." She was seething mad, fists clenched and shoulders raised.

If anyone thought that the two would one day get along... Well, those thoughts were flying right out the window. "There," Kaiba said to himself smugly. He re-adjusted the strap on his shoulder and sauntered proudly out the door.

Anzu stomped after him, muttering curses under her breath. Yugi and Jounouchi came after her, chatting to themselves about... something, probably of the highest academic caliber. Well, that or Yugi was reminding him why it wasn't Ok to stick pennies in electrical outlets. Suddenly, they all heard an "eep!".

"What's wrong?" Yugi asked worriedly.

"She grabbed my ass," Honda said woodenly, eyes wide.

"She what!" Jounouchi asked, laughing.

"I... I don't want to talk about it."

"That's j-"

"I _said_ I DON'T want to talk about it."

* * *

End A/N: Hi; me again! I hope the chapter was at least a little humorous. Did anyone think that the teacher hitting on Honda was a little bit too much? That actually wasn't in my original plan at all. I thought it was funny, though, and I now have many directions that I could go with it. And that's about it- where's the plot you may be asking. Hmm... That, my friends, is a very good question. 

--- EXTRA! ---

"Oh Honda... I want you stay after class and help me clean theboard. Do you think you're _up_ to the task? I could always find someone with a... _bigger_ sense of generosity to help me, you know."

"N-no... I think I can handle it."

"That's a _very_ good boy."

(Gosh. I am so crude...)


	3. Recipe for Success

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant_****_

* * *

_**

A/N: Finally- the chapter's written. I'm not totally happy with the way this turned out, but honestly I think that it's still pretty good. I hope so, at least. Right... Well! Thank you to everyone who's been reading this, and an even bigger THANK YOU to those who have reviewed. I guess that covers it; with no further delays, here's chapter 3! Enjoy!

* * *

Recipe for Success  
_(In Which Honda Gets no Respite, Cell Phones Get What's Coming to Them, and Much Zinging Abounds)__

* * *

_  
From Page 90 of "Better Baking for Burdened Businessmen" 

**How to Create the Perfect Batch of Match-Made-in-Heaven**

-_Ingredients:_

_-_1 Boy, preferably teenaged, brilliant (having his own company adds a very pleasant _**zing**_ to the taste), with brown hair, blue eyes, and an unhealthy amount of stubbornness. Add-in one adorable brother, wrap in a heavy trench coat, and keep on ice.

-1 Girl, friendly, opinionated, independent, hot-tempered, stubborn, loyal, with blue eyes, brown hair, and a devoted love of dancing. Season with three goofy friends, and keep at a boil.

* * *

Honda took a deep breath. Jounouchi and Yugi exchanged worried glances. He certainly had been acting oddly as of late. With great intrepidity, he reached for the handle of the door. Jounouchi raised an eyebrow. 

"You Ok there, huh Honda?" he asked with the smallest hint of concern. Their group had always been prone to bouts of strangeness, but not often did they come without explanation.

"I just have to go in there, and learn. Go in there and learn." He didn't pay any attention to his friend's comments, choosing instead to mumble halfway-coherently to himself. "I'm just going to ignore her."

Jounouchi chuckled as the three friends ventured inside. "Looks like someone's a little nervous, huh Yugi?"

Yugi gave him a slight look of reprimand before rolling his eyes and laughing a little himself. "Well can you blame him? If I had a teacher who looked at me like she wanted to eat me, I'd be a little nervous too."

"Though really ladies and gentlemen, the class does add a certain _**zing**_ to the day."

"What was that Jou?"

"Huh? I didn't say anything, Yug."

And so the three brave boys walked in and all took their seats.

As luck- and conveniently planned plot- would have it, the class was not nearly as boring as Jounouchi had initially feared. And except for a hefty workload (and vastly inappropriate behavior that continually unnerved poor Honda), the students all seemed to almost enjoy what they were learning.

Almost.

It was, after all, still school, and no student could ever overlook that. They still took tests- who the hell actually _cared_ about the theories of capitalism?- and did worksheets- oh, _such_ fun that was-, and listened to lectures (at least... she said they were lectures, but somehow that word didn't seem to fit), and even studied the country's finest businessmen (thanks in large part to a magazine whose sole purpose was to explore said businessmen's lives). The participants in the class, feeling it their sworn duty, did what any group of students would rightfully do. They talked; they threw things; they did all they could to make sure the teacher would leave that period with a splitting headache.

But that is the nature of such things, and it didn't bother their instructor quite as much as they hoped it would. Her lesson plan was detailed, and they were covering exactly what they should. All in all, the environment was as conducive to education as most parties involved felt it should be.

* * *

_-Preparations:_

After you have all the proper ingredients, it's time to start the pre-baking process.

1.) Pre-heat oven to 400° F.

2.) Take BOY off ice; he should be properly chilled. This is easily checked by the intensity of his glare- anywhere from frigid to glacial is more than sufficient.

3.) Remove 3-GOOFY-FRIENDS from GIRL. If left in too long, the recipe will be ruined.

* * *

"What?" Jounouchi yelled in disgust, holding his recently-returned paper aloft. "How the hell is this possible? I studied for like, what, twenty whole minutes for this damn test! How could I possibly fail?" 

Yugi surreptitiously turned a paper with a red _90_ on it face-down. "Come on Jounouchi; did you really expect to ace it?"

"Hell yeah, I did! This isn't fair."

Anzu eyed her own grade smugly. "Guess we all get what we deserve..."

"What- they finally realized that you've long been exceeding your mental capabilities?" Kaiba muttered.

"Oh shut the hell up," she hissed back at him. She glared at him scathingly before turning back to her friends. Jounouchi was still sulking, while Yugi kindly tried to console him.

"What'd you get on your test, Honda?" Anzu asked curiously, blatantly ignoring Jounouchi's (expected) protests to his mark.

Honda looked around nervously and said, "Oh, um, I did f-fine. Yeah, just fine."

She looked at him suspiciously; even Yugi and Jounouchi's interests were caught. Honda gulped and tried to put his paper in his bookbag- a most peculiar action, indeed... Jounouchi and Anzu exchanged most-mischievous glances, and with no warning... they pounced.

"Got it!" Jounouchi called proudly, waving Honda's paper like a victory flag. "Let's just see- betcha you did even worse than me." He glanced at the grade, and... "What! He got 100!"

Anzu gaped. "No way! How is that possible?" She snatched the paper from him almost viciously. Honda put his embarrassed face in his hands, and Yugi just calmly observed his... _interesting_ group of friends. Suddenly, Anzu started chuckling. And chuckling. And, again, chuckling.

"I think I discovered how he did so well. Look." She gave the test paper to the other two boys to examine.

Written right by the impressive score was a note: _'Excellent job, Honda; such a studious young man. Call me some time if you ever need a little extra help. Believe me when I say I'd be more than happy to oblige.'_

For a moment, there was silence.

"She actually put a phone number!" Jounouchi hooted, slapping his leg in amusement. "Whoo, boy, Honda, she wants you _ba-ad_."

Honda groaned in embarrassment. "I think I've noticed."

Yugi just tried to smile helpfully and said, "Hey, it could be worse. At least she's a woman, right?"

Anzu and Jounouchi snickered unmercifully, leaving poor Honda feeling more embarrassed than ever. In a last-ditch effort to save what little dignity he had, he exclaimed, "You're just jealous that I've actually got an... _attractive_ (he just couldn't forget he was talking about a teacher) woman who's interested in me. I don't see either of you engaging in any form of romance, wanted or otherwise. And believe me, knowing that I can make her want me definitely adds a _**zing**_ to my whole outlook."

"What was that last thing, Honda?"

"Huh? I said that I didn't see either of them having any admirers."

"Oh."

"Well," Anzu said, pouting, "It just so happens that you all scare off any potential love-interest! What sane guy would dare approach me, knowing he'd have to deal with you three knuckleheads?"

"No sane guy would approach _you_ at all," a quiet voice sneered behind her.

"Shut up, Kaiba!" she said angrily, imaginary tendrils of steam threatening to ooze from her ears.

"Not our fault we're so intimidating," Jounouchi announced proudly, head raised a little higher.

"Hey idiot," Honda said, looking annoyed, "That's not what Anzu mean; she wasn't giving you a compliment."

"Yeah well... she wasn't complimenting you either!"

"I know, dumbass!"

The two continued their bickering, as Yugi and Anzu looked on in indifference. They had become much too used to it for it to bother them. (And if things got too bad, they could always hide their faces behind their books.)

Yugi sighed. "At least you can always count on those two to put a certain _**zing**_ in any conversation."

"What was that, Yugi?"

"Nothing, Anzu."

* * *

_-Baking Instructions:_

Submerge both BOY and GIRL together in a pot of _heated rivalry_. Bring to a boil, and gradually stir in 1/4 cup of _initial attraction._ After 15 minutes, drain. In a separate bowl, mix together 2 cups of _hormones_, ½ cup of _stubbornness_, 1 tablespoon of _desire_, a pinch of sugar, and ½ teaspoon of _lust_ to get a hearty topping of _sexual tension_. Make noodles from _guilt_ and layer them with _inappropriateness_ in a 10 X 10 pan. Next, place BOY and GIRL in. Sprinkle on a dash of _heated glances_, and a healthy bit of _physically pleasing_. Add water if too dry. Slowly ladle on sauce- _sexual tension_- and place in oven. Do not allow to get too _hot_, or things could burn. Bake for 1 hour. Remove from oven; best if kept warm. Season to taste.

* * *

After-school. Besides _after-work_, it was Seto's favorite time of day. He walked briskly down the sidewalk, headed intently toward his destination. Which happened to be a quick interlude at his favorite coffee-house before another toiling day at the office. What a life- he already felt forty. 

His cell-phone rang shrilly, alerting him to a business call. With a quick roll of his eyes, he answered it.

"Kaiba. Speak."

**"**_Yes, Mr. Kaiba, this is Gai Myojin, head of your PR department. As I'm sure you know, the-_**"**

Seto rolled his eyes, his attention shifting away the phone call. He didn't feel like dealing with the stupid man, at least not until it was required of him. Luckily, he saw his refuge approaching, that warm, dark lair of brewed beverages he longed for and needed. Still ignoring Myojin, he stepped inside.

The man on the phone kept babbling on and on about something, sounding more idiotic by the moment. Seto was not in the mood to listen. But, as Myojin could tell you with full authority, Seto was NEVER in the mood to listen. The information he was trying to relay, however, was rather important, and the young CEO needed to pay attention. But as that was certainly never going to happen, the very least he felt he could do was try. And perhaps take advantage of the situation.

Seto growled to himself as he picked his way through the crowd. He had dropped all pretenses of even listening to his cell, holding it by his side instead of at his ear. All he wanted was coffee- why did those stupid people have to make what should be a simple task so damn difficult? He might have to up his caffeine intake. Something iced sounded tempting. And maybe vanilla...

**"**_Mr. Kaiba! Mr. Kaiba!_**"** a voice screeched at him. **"**_Are you listening to me?_**"**

Seto exhaled in frustration. "I... Yes, you fool. Now continue."

Unfortunately, it seemed that certain others liked to frequent that location as well.

Seto was jolted to the side as a body collided into him. "Oh sorry," the girl said. "I wasn't watching where I was going, I-" she looked up. "Oh. It's only you, Kaiba. Whatever."

"Stay the hell out of my way, Mazaki," he snarled.

She glared. "Sorry, I said; it was an accident."

He met her glare with one of his own. "I-" Once again, however, his verbal abuse was interrupted by a squawking on his cell. "Why are you bothering me?" he growled into the phone.

**"**_This is very important, Mr. Kaiba. I realize that you may be in the middle of something now, but if you would please just listen for a moment, I-_**"**

"I could get your coffee if you want," Anzu said brightly. "You probably need to take your call."

Seto glowered, weighing the options. With a sigh of annoyance and resignation, he fished some money out of his pocket. Putting it- with more force than necessary- in the smiling girl's hand and snarling out what he wanted, he turned away from her, and tried to focus on the conversation.

Unfortunately, both- intensely annoying- voices hit him at once.

**"**_For the good of the company-_**"**

"-vanilla, right?"

"Yes, that's right."

**"**_I'm glad you finally realize how important this is. So I have your full permission to agree?_**"**

"No!"

"Um... you don't want vanilla?"

Seto had to refrain from smacking his forehead. "Yes; I want the damn vanilla."

Her eyebrows raised. "Well sorry. Rude bastard..."

**"**_Mr. Kaiba? What do you mean... 'Vanilla'? Is that one of your stipulations? Because really, they're willing to go a long way to get the interview. You-_**"**

"Is tall Ok?"

"It's fine."

**"**_So I can go ahead and give them the Ok?_**"**

"And did you want it iced?"

He sighed in frustration. "Yes..." She had to make it so much more difficult than it had to be. He then noticed that fool on the phone was still blubbering on. "Look, I have to go. Just... take care of whatever it is, and contact me later. Goodbye."

He snapped the phone shut and looked at it in disgust. With a huge sense of satisfaction, he deftly tossed it into a nearby waste receptacle.

Anzu sprang up next to him, holding a plastic cup- with a savory-scented liquid inside- in her left hand. She handed it to him without fuss.

He glared suspiciously. "Didn't I have any change?"

She winked and took a rather flamboyantly obvious sip from her own cup. "Nope."

And as she sauntered out the door- leaving a bewildered Kaiba in her wake- the only word that went through his head was a well-deserved...

'_**Zing.**'

* * *

_

End A/N: Well... That was interesting, wasn't it? This is longer than the other too chapters, and... what's this? (gasp) I think I see a plot forming! Yes, finally the plot begins to take shape. So... I hope everyone liked this chapter. Don't forget to review- it means so much to me when you do. And this time I'll almost certainly remember to reply. (grin) 


	4. The Root of All Evil

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant

* * *

_**  
A/N: WHOO! Can you believe it? Chapter four is finally here! This is where we really start getting into some plot-stuffs. What's going on, you ask? Well, I'll leave that to you to figure out. I've dropped quite a few hints, though perhaps they're only obvious to me because I know what's going on anyway. Heh. The romance will be a long time in coming, but I promise that eventually it will get here. (Do you see the thread I've already set out for that? Ooh, it's a good one.) This chapter will probably seem a bit strange, especially one specific scene. I think it's still pretty good though, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. To the fic!

* * *

The Root of All Evil  
_(In Which There are Ulterior Motives and Seto Learns That Luck is Fickle)

* * *

_

Mokuba twirled the phone cord around his finger. He liked the power the big black phone afforded him. He felt, as he spoke through it, that no one could oppose him. Of course, the big, imposing chair, dim-lighting, and metallic computer in front of him added greatly to the effect. "I think I can get Seto to agree," he said proudly, "It shouldn't be too difficult, anyway."

He listened into the receiver for a moment before nodding knowledgeably. "Mm-hmm, I was surprised as well that he agreed. It's very unlike him."

Mokuba grinned. "Really? Well, isn't that interesting. I'll talk with him, and get back to you. Goodbye."

He hung up the phone, and did a congratulatory twirl in the chair. Things were good. Just then, however, Seto chose to make an appearance. "Mokuba?" he asked warily, "What are you up to?"

The younger boy grinned. "Nothing, Seto, I don't know why you'd say that." He hopped out of the chair. "I'm proud of you though. It's not like you to act... so not like you." He handed his brother a paper from the desk. "And before the yelling starts, just remember that _you_ were the one to agree to this." With another grin, he sped out of the room, eagerly awaiting what would surely be humorous consequences.

And sure enough, a few moments later, a great yell reverberated throughout their whole home.

"MOKUBA! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

Luckily for Mokuba, the yelling hadn't lasted long. Seto- calmly and collectedly- had called his company (demanding- calmly and collectedly- an explanation). He received word that _he_ was the one who had given the Ok, that _HE_, in all his CEO-shining glory, had been the one to approve such an absolutely ludicrous scheme. And that was when Seto (quite calmly and collectedly, mind you) began to get... _angry._

It appeared as though things were about to get interesting.

* * *

Jounouchi, it could be said, was a simple man. (It could also be argued that the sky is blue.) Well... all arguing aside, Jounouchi _was_ a simple man. He knew what he liked; he knew what he didn't like; and if you ever bothered to spend more than a minute with him in friendly conversation, he wasn't exactly hard to figure out. (We're talking... 25-piece puzzle of a rainbow here.) But, as simple as he was, he had good points galore. He was loyal, and funny, and tough, and true. He loved his friends, that was certain. In fact, he loved his friends so much that when he won a contest for four free tickets to lazer tag at the mall, he oh-so-kindly invited his four friends to join him.

"Sounds awesome," Anzu said happily. "Count me in, definitely."

"Yugi?" Jounouchi asked expectantly, antsy from the excitement.

Yugi smiled and nodded. "Sure- I can think of no reason to decline."

There- two acceptances received. That only left...

"I don't know," Honda said hesitantly. "Does it have to be that night?"

"Yes!" Jounouchi announced adamantly. "The passes don't last forever, you know. What's wrong with that night?"

Honda looked decidedly uncomfortable. "Well... It's just that... I've got a date with Arisa that night."

Jounouchi raised an eyebrow and grinned. "A date, huh? That's so rare I guess we have to make allowances. So who is this _Arisa_ anyway?"

"None of your damn business," Honda snarled.

Jounouchi held up placating hands. "Alright, alright. Don't tell me; I don't care. Besides, me and Yugi will figure it out eventually, right?"

Yugi scratched his head. "If Honda doesn't want us to know, then we really shouldn't pry. I'll admit, I'm a bit interested, but... That's all. Honda deserves this date after all the, um, unwanted advances he's been getting lately. Even though she is, er... _attractive,_ it still must be pretty strange to have a teacher hit on you. Maybe this way she'll leave you alone, huh Honda?"

"Uh... I mean, yeah, yeah. Right." He cleared his throat. "Though, speaking of her, I... uh, I said I'd do her a favor this afternoon." The look he gave them then left nothing hidden.

"What are we looking for again?" Jounouchi asked, bored since they had begun the trip.

"We're picking up some magazines," Honda snapped. "How many times do I have to remind you?" He frowned. "Stop complaining."

They stood in front of the counter of a corner bookstore- where they sold newspapers and magazines as well as books. Honda had proposed an outing to his two dearest friends (Anzu already had plans for the whole afternoon, and was _so_ disappointed she couldn't come) and they, being his dearest friends, had felt themselves obligated to (begrudgingly) accept the invitation. They were seriously starting to regret the decision. Yugi was patient, but Jounouchi was stomping around restlessly like an enraged rhino- with scarcely more grace.

"Alright, I won't complain, but why the hell do you need so many magazines? Extra curricular reading, perhaps?"

"Shut up Jounouchi," Honda snapped again. "I told you- these are what we're going to use for class.

Just then, the owner of the establishment came up to the counter. He set the big bundle of magazines on the countertop and gave a good-natured smile. "Here you go boys," he said. Honda handed him some money, gathered the stack and left. Yugi and Jounouchi, the good ol' boys they were, promptly followed after him.

* * *

He took a long drag of his cigarette. "Look sir, I haven't got all day; I was nice enough to make a house call, so can we hurry and get this done? You're not the only job I've got today."

Mokuba grinned. "See Seto? I told you this would be fun."

Seto growled.

The other man sighed. "We already have a contract- you'll get compensated for your troubles, if that's what you're worried about."

"I don't give a damn about the money," Seto said. "I'm not going to do this."

The man- who apparently went by 'the Flasher'- sighed. "You don't actually have a choice." He watched Seto objectively for a moment before smugly smirking. "But I do have a proposition."

Seto raised an eyebrow curiously. "Oh? And just what is it?"

Flasher grinned again. "Well, how 'bout this. We could play a little... _game_. If I win, you do this- no complaints. If you win, I leave and never bother you again- contract forgotten."

Seto rolled his eyes. That foolish man- challenging him? Challenging Seto Kaiba? He needed to be taught a serious lesson. "Alright, you fool, I accept. Exactly what game did you have in mind?"

"Well..." Flasher took out a deck of playing cards from his back pocket. "Ever heard of poker?"

_And Later..._

Mokuba was still laughing.

"Shut up," Seto hissed, "It's _not_ funny."

"Seto," he gasped out between his laughs, bent over and clutching his belly, "You lost **37** times." Seto just pouted unhappily.

"Alright," Flasher said, "Let's get started. And we're doing it my way." Seto mustered up the fiercest glare ever recorded and scorchingly aimed its full power at the poor man. Fletcher held up his hands in protest. "Hey, I wasn't the one who wanted to raise the stakes for the thirtieth game. It would have been fine with me- hell, I would have preferred it if you kept your clothes on, but you just had to be cocky and think you could win." He smirked. "And the filming session you have to do now? Ooh, I'd love to see that when it airs."

The time-bomb that was Seto's patience was slowly ticking down.

"Since there is no escaping this," Seto ground out through clenched teeth, "can we get it over with? I am not happy, and if my level of irritation rises any further, then I assure you heads will roll."

Flasher winked at Mokuba, whose laughter had finally subsided. "Don't worry, my skill is unmatched; it won't take us long at all."

* * *

There were some things Seto Kaiba never did, and making a fool of himself was one of them. Sitting in his elective class (Beginning Business I, as though he even needed it), he sighed in a most aggravated fashion, and drummed his fingers on his desk top. He stared at the back of Mazaki's head, almost ashamed that his boredom had driven him to such an inane activity. (But... Being ashamed was another thing Seto Kaiba never did.)

Unfortunately- or fortunately were you to look at it differently-, his lapse of concentration was abruptly broken. "Will you stop that stupid drumming?" Anzu hissed quietly, twisting around to glare at him angrily. He glared right back.

"I'm so sorry, perhaps you didn't know- I never take orders from those beneath me." He rolled his eyes at her, and absently leaned his temple against the hand of the arm standing up on the desk.

"I'm trying to learn here! You could at least have the decency to be quiet! Wait... or is being decent also something you'd never do?"

He stonily glanced up at the front of the class, then down to the material in front of him. "I had no idea you found short middle-aged men who hold high positions in businesses so riveting."

"I don't, you asshole! The guy doesn't matter to me, but you never know when she might test us on something."

Seto rolled his eyes again, though secretly glad that she had initiated the argument- riling someone up always amused him. "There's no need to get so defensive, Mazaki; I wouldn't dream of criticizing your taste in men."

She opened her mouth to speak, but upon seeing the tiny smirk he wore, gave an intense one-second glare, and turned haughtily back around.

If she thought that was supposed to injure him, then she obviously had very poor judgement. He was never one to be intimidated or even affected by such paltry tricks. She had served as a brief distraction, but she was just as easily forgotten. It wasn't like she meant anything to him, anyway.

Disliking the lesson for far more reasons (and more personal reasons) than Mazaki could ever guess, he once again sank into his stern, contemplative state. He could surrender to boredom, yes- but giving up was something Seto Kaiba never did.

* * *

End A/N: Welly, welly, well then! Wasn't that just more fun than a barrel of monkeys? Come on, you must have figured out what's going on by now! (snickers) Isn't it great? Silly, I'll admit openly, but fun none-the-less. I hope you review- I'm not sure how I am at humor, so feedback would be great. No immediate plans for chapter five; if I'm alive after the holidays I'll see what I can do. I feel elated. This story rocks hard. Rawhr.

ILB


	5. Clash of the Classes

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant

* * *

_**

A/N: Whoa, new chapter already! I feel bad about updating so close to Christmas, but I'm not sure why. I know this chapter is short, but it's so cute! And kinda funny, I think... I hope, at least. I really like this chapter- it was ridiculously fun to write. But I made it so obvious! Oh well, guess I can't fix that. Anyway, I really hope everyone enjoys this!

* * *

Clash of the Classes  
_(In Which Anzu Scores and Seto can't Win Any at All)

* * *

__It's the big game today folks, and it looks like it will be a good one. The long-awaited match is finally here- will it draw to a close the heated rivalry between these two extraordinarily talented teams? We can only wait and see; we can only wait and see._

"Ok Seto!" Mokuba announced happily. "Are you ready?"

"No. This is ridiculous. I'm going back to bed."

"But Seto!" The inevitable whine. "They'll be here in another half-hour! Don't you want to be ready?"

"No. Don't disturb me."

Mokuba growled, and watched his stubborn brother stomp back up the stairs. Was it really his fault that Seto didn't pay attention to any of the KC employees? Was it really _his_ fault that Seto possessed the worst poker game known to all mankind? No.

'_Hmph,' _Mokuba thought to himself as he headed towards the kitchen, _'Whenever someone talks about Seto's personal life, they always mention how he's so devoted to his little brother, and how difficult it must be to play the role of both brother and father. But, in all their talk, do they ever stop to think about who takes care of Seto? Do they? I deserve SO much more credit.'_

Sighing in frustration, he sat in front of the TV, waiting for the crew to show up. Seto wasn't worming his way out of that one. If Mokuba had to drag him out why the cuffs of his ragged blue-eyes pajama pants, Seto _was_ going to follow-through with his inadvertent commitment.

And with a sneaky smirk as he saw a big van pull into the front driveway, Mokuba knew that once again his big brother didn't stand a chance.

_Mokuba-1, Seto-0_

* * *

_And so folks, the game begins._

Seto, in his infinite wisdom, had signed up for a study hall. It was during the middle of the day. He couldn't leave.

This posed quite a problem (and bored him out of his mind).

Since he couldn't leave, he had too little faith in the administrators to demean himself by working in the office, and none of the teachers liked him enough (the feeling WAS mutual) to let him come to their classroom, there wasn't much choice. The study hall teacher was an absolute monster. She was mean, bitter, and, quite honestly, rather stupid. She was eerily similar to an over-exaggerated TV villain (and had she ever taken up Duel Monsters and made plans to rule the world... Hmm...).

So Seto went to the library. There he could at least have some peace and quiet. Among the books and computers- a strange but comforting juxtaposition of old and new- he found a scene of quiet, solitary repose. No one bothered him, and he could read, work on something for his company, or even do the homework he felt was worth his time.

Unfortunately, someone chose that day to disturb him.

_And here it is, ladies and gentlemen- the clash of the titans. This is the match-up all sports fans have been waiting lifetimes for. One, the proud, arrogant champion, trying desperately to hold onto his title, and the other a strong, bold challenger, trying to win her place among the superstars of the sport. What a day, folks; what a day._

A quiet humming voice was coming from behind him as he scribbled something down in an old, spiral notebook. He tensed up with an annoyed frown, and turned around to see who had the gall to interrupt his tranquility.

Of course- Mazaki. Who else could it possibly have been? That girl... There was something about her that always managed to _irritate_ him. He didn't like being around her; she had an adverse effect on him that always drove him mad.

"Excuse me," he growled out, none-too-politely, "What the hell are you doing? Why don't you take your annoying presence and hopelessly off-key humming somewhere else- preferably far away from me."

She glared at him harshly for a moment. But then, seeming to come to some decision, she stuck up her nose, and turned on her heel to walk down the next row.

Or that's where he thought she was going, because actually she just circled around and impertinently sat down at the table he was currently occupying.

"Go ahead, Kaiba," she dared. "Make a scene. You're the one who seems to have a problem, not me."

He sneered. "Shut the hell up, and get your sorry little ass away from me."

"My, aren't we pleasant?" She smiled sarcastically, and settled back more comfortably into her chair. "I think I'll just... sit here and enjoy this state-of-the-art library our school so generously provides."

He looked down at the papers in front of him, refusing to play her game. _He_ was supposed to be the antagonist, not her. The sudden role-reversal angered him, and he refused to acknowledge it had happened at all. Did she know how she could push his buttons? Did she finally realize how much he _detested_ her? Yugi was probably the only person alive who bothered him more.

'_Right,'_ he thought to himself, trying to reaffirm his motives and feelings. _'Regardless of what most people would do or feel in this situation... But damn it all, that's exactly why I **don't**__want to spend any more time than is absolutely necessary with the stupid girl.'_ His pencil was poised over the clean sheet of notebook paper, waiting for words. But with Anzu there, he knew that he wasn't going to get much work done. He gritted his teeth. _'Bitchy, airheaded bimbo...'_

Suddenly, a small voice was heard behind him. "Um... Anzu? I found the book; we should probably head back to class."

Anzu nodded and stood up. She grinned cheekily at the boy across from her. He inwardly fumed. "We've got to stop meeting like this, Kaiba- guys like you are nothing but trouble."

"As... _enthralling_ as this has been, Mazaki, I think I could do without your juvenile teasings."

She pretended to pout. "Oh really? And here I thought we were best friends. Such a shame."

"I hate you."

"Feeling's mutual, ya bastard."

And with a bold wink, she grinned and left, leaving one very furious boy behind. Unable to concentrate, he threw his pencil down on the table. The day had suddenly turned quite sour. He hated her; so what if he had a grudging respect for someone so skilled in teasing him? He still really... _hated_ her.

_Anzu-1, Seto-0_

Anzu, on the other hand, left their little spat feeling quite complacent. The girl she was with said nervously, "Are you sure you should t-treat him like that? It's... It's _Kaiba_ for goodness' sake. He could have you expelled or something!"

"Him? Get me expelled?" Anzu snorted in amusement. "If he was going to do that- or even could do that- he would have done it a long time ago. I'm so mean to him- it just isn't a day unless I piss him off."

The girl seemed surprised. "Really? Not even Jounouchi-kun can rile him up that easily." The girl giggled. "Maybe there's a reason for that, huh?"

"Yeah, there's a reason; the guy hates me! I'm not worth his _precious _time, so it drives him crazy when I make him pay attention to him."

"Alright, Anzu, whatever you say," the girl said, with a disbelieving little grin. "But that wasn't what I meant at all."

* * *

End A/N: Alright! Whoo! Heh. I know the sports-announcer thing was a little lame, but I'm running out of ideas. All I have left is informercial. But anyway, it's funnier if you imagine that guy... what's his name? Er, Howard Cosell, I think. But yeah, imagine that voice saying it and it's really funny. Anyway, that's it. I hope ya'll liked this chapter, because I know I did! If you have time, PLEASE REVIEW! Pretty, pretty please... Ok, til chapter six (in which Anzu drools and Jounouchi's eyes burn). 

ILB


	6. Money Isn't Everything

_**Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant**__**

* * *

**_

A/N: WHOO! This didn't come quite as soon as my other updates, but I think that it will be good all the same. (Well...let's just say that I'm hoping.) I really appreciate all of you who've taken the time to review this story; it helps me know what readers like, and it keeps my spirits high enough to keep writing! I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter- it's crazy, and was a total blast to write. I was planning to finish tomorrow, but... Well, why do homework when you can write fan-fiction? Alright, I'm shutting up. Read and enjoy, ladies and gents!

_

* * *

_Money Isn't Everything (He's Really Loaded)  
_(In Which Anzu Drools and Jounouchi's Eyes Burn)_**_

* * *

_ **

And Now... Introducing the Bargain of the Century!

_Are you sad? Are you lonely? Are you tired of strange cloaked men with plans for world-domination always asking you for a duel? Life can be so dull– so dreary! Are you ready for a change? Ready to earn more money? Ready to be in better health? Are you ready for an adventure that will have your head spinning and your moods lifting to unimaginable heights? If so, then we have the product for you!_

_Introducing the new... **KAIBA!**_

* * *

School. Had a building ever looked so forbidding? So ominous? Rife with an odious air, it stood large and proud, towering over the sidewalk in a nefarious show of complacent... _evil_. 

Surely it was once a nice building. It was reasonably well-made, and seemed– outwardly, at least– innocent enough. Was it the mere fact that it was a school that made it seem so malevolent? Was the fact that it lay mired in the education cesspool enough to make a respectable building– a _nice_ building even– into a foul, heinous tool for that dark entity bent on ruining the lives of youngsters everywhere?

The unsuspecting, oppressed slaves– or should I say _students_– filed in obediently, unable to escape from their one terrible duty.

"Hello class!" a warm, feminine voice trilled at the front of classroom 214. "I have a feeling it's going to be a wonderful day!"

Her students groaned, but obligingly took their seats. The small Beginning Business I class was ready for a fulfilling day of learning, and their _bright_, _happy_ faces clearly evinced their desire to fill their sponge-like minds up with new knowledge. (Of course, it was just as likely that their sulky, ill-humored expressions showed how much they _didn't_ want to be there.)

The teacher smiled and patted the stack of the by-then-familiar magazines on her desk. "Time for our current events lesson!" They studied the business of the times and the featured business-person every time a new issue was released. "Honda– pass these out, please." Said student rolled his eyes, but did as she instructed. He gave each of his fellow inmates– er, _classmates_– a copy, then sat back down at his desk.

"I'm sure you'll enjoy this," their ever-enlightened learning-leader said. "The focus of the article is one of our own students– Seto Kaiba, believe it or not." She smiled at him, but he didn't return it.

"Oh yeah," Jounouchi whispered to no one in particular, rolling his eyes. "I'm gonna _enjoy_ this."

The picture of Kaiba on the cover was normal enough. He was scowling, and wearing another of his trademark trench coats.

"Isn't this exciting?" the teacher asked, not expecting any answer. "And it says here that Kaiba also agreed to do an interview. I've sent off for it, and we can watch that, too. Now, I know that–"

"Hey!" someone interrupted, a hand shooting into the air, a mischievous grin on the perpetrator's face. "Everybody turn to page seventy-five!" The teacher glared at him. "No– believe me, you're gonna want to do this." His grin spread wider and he winked at Kaiba cheekily.

The teacher looked at him skeptically, as though weighing out whether she should or not. Deciding that she might as well, she turned to the page he had mentioned. A murmur ripped through the class as she was flipping, until she reached it, and...

"Oh... my goodness." Her eyes widened considerably and she released something that sounded like an almost nervous laugh. "Well, I must say I certainly wasn't expecting that."

* * *

_This product is brand-new, high-quality, never-before-seen, not sold in any store, equipped with the most up-to-date technology! It's amazing– unbelievable, even! _

_But don't take our word for it! Hear from many happy customers, whose lives have been bettered by this new phenomenon!_

-Testimonials:  
"_I used to be shy and had trouble making friends, but ever since I bought my very own Kaiba my life's been turned completely around! I take him everywhere. Thank you– without him, I don't know what I would have done!" -G.S._

"_I don't know how I ever managed without him! I'm keeping my Kaiba forever!" -H.Y._

"_Yeah, not only does he add a certain charm to any room, he's also great with my kids! This really is the product we've all been waiting for. I told all my friends about the Kaiba, and now they all have one, too!" -K.M._

* * *

Hearing the commotion and becoming a bit curious, Anzu slowly flipped to page seventy-five herself. And boy, was she ever surprised. 

Anzu's jaw, had it not been connected to her face, would have hit the floor. That... Well, that was some photo, alright, but there was just NO WAY that Kaiba would have allowed such a thing to be published anywhere. He was... He was...

He didn't look like _Kaiba_ at all! Kaiba was not attractive. Kaiba did not make poor, innocent girls pant like dogs in heat. (Especially not girls like Anzu!) But the man spread out on the two glossy pages on her desk... She was more than certain that any number of girls– and she could certainly name a few– would drop their pants for him in a minute. He was propped up on his elbows, long, lean body stretched out on a soft, white sheet. Her hungry eyes slowly moved down his perfect, delicious body. Hair that just had to be soft and thick was mussed, giving a sexy sense of dishevelment that seemed to excite rather than encourage. Dark eyes were alight with _something_, almost jumping off the page as she stared at them feverishly. And then those lips... Oh, those beautiful kissable lips. (She was convinced that it couldn't be Kaiba– his lips had to be nearly burned off from all the poison he was constantly spewing.)

One hand was resting on his lower abdomen, the tips of his long fingers just at the waistband of the jeans he wore. They were carelessly left unbuttoned, giving a rather scandalous view of that much more skin. Anzu shivered slightly. Somehow managing to wrangle up her senses, she slammed the magazine closed and put her head in her hands.

'_It's impossible,'_ she told herself. _'Kaiba isn't attractive. That photographer is just gifted. Gifted... and the luckiest bastard on the planet.' _She clenched her teeth in rage. _'Augh! No! I refuse to let myself EVER think of him that way.'_

Suddenly, she heard a grunt from behind her. Peering over her shoulder in an attempt not to seem too interested, she saw the very object they all were ogling. His cheeks were red, his eyes were down, and his shoulders were tensed up. There was no mistake– Kaiba was as embarrassed as it was possible to be. And though she felt some sick satisfaction upon discovering that, she found she couldn't blame him one bit.

* * *

-Testimonials:  
"_Without my Kaiba, I might never have gotten that raise! I swear, this is the best thing since sliced bread! I haven't had a single problem, and the performance is always 100-percent!" -D.A._

"_I've only had my Kaiba for three months, but I've never been happier. Without him, that bus might have really hit me!" -R.T._

"_I saw a few ads for the new Kaiba, but I never really listened. One day, though, I finally decided to get my own. And wow, I only wish I had done it sooner! My Kaiba has changed my life! Everyone should get one; he's worth every penny!" -E.U._

* * *

"That was... That was..." Jounouchi shuttered. "Torture. Pure torture." 

"Excruciating." Honda put in.

"Yes! Disgusting."

"Unendurable."

"Nauseating."

"Guys," Yugi said with a sigh, so sure of defeat he put forth no effort whatsoever, "I think we get it now."

"Yeah," Anzu agreed with a snort. "And if it really freaked you out that much to see him without a shirt on, I'd hate to know what you see when you undress." She laughed heartily at the ensuing sputters, ignoring Honda's teasing protests and Jounouchi's rather unsettling threats to take his shirt off then and there.

She hadn't been repulsed at all by the scantily-clad Kaiba. Oh no, she hadn't been repulsed, disgusted, or nauseated one little bit. In fact, the only mote of discomfort she felt was due to her having the exact _opposite_ reaction as the boys. They had been shielding their eyes and wishing he would put more on, while she had been unable to stop staring and wishing he would take more off. He might have been their nemesis, but... a girl was allowed to look if she wanted to, right? And _hot damn_ did he give her something to look at...

* * *

There is nothing quite like gossip when it comes to spreading things around. Quicker than plague the news moves from one person to the next, spreading wider and wider until not a single person is left untouched. And the more sensational the news– the wilder, the more wicked– the faster it will move. 

And never had Kaiba cursed gossip more.

No student in that God-forsaken school could possible be interested in the boring, long-winded language that articles in such a magazine contained. So why in the hell did everyone have a copy of it!

Whispers followed him everywhere: through every hall, in every classroom, there were even rumors floating in the office! He cursed the day he ever agreed to the do the stupid magazine article. Why in the hell had he ever agreed to do that? He didn't remember agreeing; he barely remember talking about it at all. Hadn't he suffered enough? First to be held to a contract he could nearly swear he never agreed to, then to lose **37** games of poker and have that humiliating picture published! The people were not subtle, and all the gazes locked on him made his face start to burn and his collar unusually tight. And it just didn't help at all that he heard some girl telling her friends that she wanted to rip all his clothes off.

He opened his new cell phone and quickly made a call. If he couldn't at least stop the people from talking, then he could stop them from ever seeing the... _picture_ of him in the first place. He was going to have ever last remaining copy–

**BURNED.**

* * *

_So, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to make the right decision. It's time to make one easy call that will better your life and the lives of your family members. Buy your very own Kaiba today! He's fun, flexible, and requires very little care! This is a limited time offer, so have your credit cards ready and pick up that phone. Remember, a one-of-a-kind Kaiba isn't available in any store, so order today before our supply runs out! _

_Buy now, and may all your dreams come true!_

_

* * *

_End A/N: WHOO! Hope you liked; please review! Not only do I love reading your comments, but it's also nice to get some advice or constructive criticism, too. If you'd like to make a suggestion for me, or offer an idea, or anything, I'd be more than happy to hear. Alright, bye! 

On the next episode of _LIFESTYLES..._  
"I know that he's your twin brother's estranged step-mother's cousin's fiancee, but I refuse to allow him to treat me this way!"

"Oh Jounouchi, you're so brave! Kiss me now, or I shall perish!"

"Anything for you, Honda my darling."

---eh... or not---  
(chapter seven: bet your bottom dollar)

* * *

AAH! I HAVE A REQUEST! I have a lovely new idea for another Seto/Anzu story, but I don't know what the title should be! The premise is this: Yugi and Anzu are dating, but after several unexpected meetings with a man from her past she's starting to rethink her romantic priorities. There's a bookstore, a sentimental Seto and lots of rain. If anyone thinks of a possible title, I'd love to hear it. This will prolly be posted in the summer. 

ILB


	7. Commercialism

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant

* * *

_**

A/N: WHOO! I told you I'd have something up. (Ha- thank my pre-cal teacher; if I hadn't been procrastinating and NOT doing my homework, this never would have happened!) And this.. Ahh, this. What is this little gem? I do not know. It's not a really real chapter; it's more of an interlude between chapters. Er... of sorts. I don't know! It's weird! I'm not sure what it all means! I used the title "Commercialism" because it's like a giant commercial during a program. Yeah. Oh, and...  
**D**o  
**I**  
**S**eriously  
**C**laim  
**L**ots of stuff  
**A**nd  
**I**nsufferably  
**M**aintain that  
**E**verything is  
**R**ightfully mine?  
No. I used a few things like Clue and Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" in here, but I don't own any of it. Er... I own these weird ideas, my original character (Honda's teacher), and of course the silk tie that may or may not have killed Pegasus.

...What are you waiting for? Go read this crazy thing!

* * *

Commercialism  
_(In Which Mokuba has Murderous Intent and Honda has Van Halen)_

* * *

The lights were dim in the room with the lavish furniture and decorations fit for a palace. Anzu, bedecked in shining ornaments of jewels and gems, stood proud and alone in the candlelight, all hazy eyes and smug smiles. A small, delicate hand reached out and picked up the phone. She dialed the only number she knew by heart.

"Hello? Yes, I can deny it no longer. There is nothing else that can be done. I want you to... Oh? Really? Well. That changes everything. No, I realize that. He won't suspect a thing, I assure you. Goodbye." And on that note, she ended the conversation and hung up the phone.

Gracefully, she fell into a chair beside the small table in the center of the room. "Finally," she said to herself, a manic glee in here eyes that were glowing like blue diamonds. "Finally..."

* * *

"It's thumpingly complicated," he said apologetically, a shy grin on his face, a hand absently holding his other arm right above the elbow. "And I am quite sorry."

She put a finger to his lips to silence any more pleas or apologies he might try to make. "I think," she said slowly, "that I'm beginning to understand." And with eyes that held the flames of passion, she drew him to her and...

A gaggle of small children happened by, out and about on the sunny afternoon. It started off as an innocent walk. But oh! They were aghast at the scene they encountered. Two adults were locked in a very close, very intimate, very "Honda, not in public!" embrace.

"Eww! Smoochies!" they all cried together, their chaperone trying to shield their tender eyes. Such a sight should be kept behind closed doors!

"My word!" the chaperone muttered to herself, herding the children away. "Do we really live in such a loose world?"

"Look at that!" a little kid hissed at his friend as they headed away. "He's got his tongue in her mouth. Eww. Adults sure are nasty."

"Yeah, but that guy's not even a real adult. He's just a... a teenager."

"Man, he's got it bad."

"So bad."

A third kid came up behind them, smirking and obnoxiously smacking a piece of bright-pink bubble gum. "He's hot for teacher."

* * *

They were all gathered in the hall of the large mansion, the storm outside growing worse and worse. Rain came pelting down in thick sheets, driving the fearsome message of nature's wrath hard into the ground. Lightening struck with fearsome intensity, and thunder boomed like a bass drum in the sky.

The group huddled together in a great mass, trying to escape the gloom of the weather, and the feeling of doom that had suffused every spirit. For in that very mansion, something was terribly amiss...

"Is everyone here?" Seto asked decisively. All heads turned, looking for anyone missing.

"Yes," Yugi answered timidly, "it looks like everyone's here."

Seto nodded. "Good. Then I can finally voice my suspicions." He gazed at his fellow inmates with a hard, unforgiving eye. "One of you... is the murderer."

A collective gasp went up. "It can't be!" Jounouchi's younger sister Shizuka murmured, clutching her brother's arm in horror. Was it really one of them? A person in that very room?

"There's no one else in the mansion!" Seto spat. "Of course it's one of you!"

"What about you, Kaiba?" Honda asked menacingly. Another bolt of lightening flashed by a window. "How do we know that you aren't the one who killed him?"

"You don't," Seto replied coldly, sending a chill through some of the meeker members of the group. You just have to take my word for it."

"I think it was you!" Jounouchi accused with a fierce roar. "You could have killed him in the pantry, while you had the vial of Fast-Acting Rat Poison!"

"But I didn't, you worthless mutt. Any of us had the opportunity, and, I suspect, the motive!"

A worried glance was passed around everyone present. Seto began pacing in front of his companions, assuming the role of investigator. "And there were so many possible weapons... If only we could have examined the body more closely! We certainly could have found evidence then."

"Or someone could have tampered with evidence," Honda's date– a thin woman named Arisa– put in.

Seto begrudgingly agreed.

"Well, it wasn't me!" blonde duelist Mai Kujaku said stubbornly. "Murder's not my game."

"Really?" Bakura said coldly. "Weren't you just saying in the attic how happy you would be if he died?"

Mai flushed in anger and embarrassment. "I wasn't serious! And I certainly didn't kill him!"

"You could have done it– you seemed quite taken with the butcher knife as we toured the pantry."

"Stop it!" Anzu said harshly. "Without any evidence we have no right to accuse anyone. So many crazy things have already happened tonight that any theory put forth wouldn't surprise me at all. But we have to stay together, and stay a team, so maybe we can figure out exactly what happened."

"She's right," Yugi agreed, his back to the rainy world they all could see through the window. "And I think it's safe to say that almost everyone here wanted Pegasus dead. But who killed him? We may never know. As soon as the rain lets up we can call the police and let them take care of the body and interrogate them. Until then–"

"Until then we're just going to sit on our asses and wait for someone else to get killed?" Seto interrupted angrily. "We have to do something! It would not be hard to at least find out if anyone's lying!"

"Why are you so eager?" Jounouchi asked. "Got some particular story you wanna tell us?"

"Shut the hell up," Seto snapped.

"Boys!" Anzu said, "Calm down! Look at poor Shizuka– she's crying!" Sure enough, the young girl was indeed huddled by a wall, weeping.

"Maybe she's overcome by guilt!" Mai suggested. "She could have done it! She had the silk tie in the nursery!"

"Don't you dare accuse my sister," Jounouchi said with calm, suppressed rage. No one had ever seen him more dangerous. "I'm starting to agree with Bakura when he was suggesting you!"

The atmosphere was tense; even though no one mourned the dead man, the thought of a murderer in their midst had everyone shaking in their boots. And in the empty mansion, with the pouring, isolating rain... Fear was only rising.

For a while, everyone was silent. They sat in the hall, different pairs of eyes hastily meeting then pulling away. The tension got thicker and thicker.

"I can't take this anymore," Anzu said wildly. "Are we just going to sit here, waiting for something to happen? We'll go insane!"

Seto stood up. "Anzu's right. There's only one thing to do– we have to review the evidence, and go through what happened step by step."

"Oh, we all know it was Kaiba!" Jounouchi said tiredly. "Aren't I right?' Only Honda verbally agreed. "Let's just put him out to the mercy of the storm and then we could all get some sleep."

"I don't know..." Yugi said uncertainly. "I saw Bakura sneaking off, holding the porcelain dog."

"The porcelain dog!" Arisa exclaimed. "Where was he headed?"

"He was headed toward the board room!"

"It wasn't me!" Bakura said, looking scared. "I swear I didn't do it."

"No! It was Honda!" Mai announced, pointing a finger towards the man she was accusing. "He did it, in the musical library with the hand grenade!"

"But maybe it was Anzu," Shizuka suggested timidly. "She could have done it with the shovel in the dueling arena."

"It had to be that mutt Jounouchi," Kaiba insisted. "I'm sure he killed Pegasus in the bedroom with the ice pick." Jounouchi growled; Seto returned it.

"No! It was Arisa-sensei!" Anzu said wildly. "She did it in the hall of mirrors with the Fast-Acting Rat Poison!"

"Mai!" Bakura shouted.

"Yugi!" Shizuka called.

"No," Jounouchi said. "It was Kaiba with the silk tie in the linen closet!"

"I know it was Honda," Anzu said. "He killed him in the cellar with the clarinet!"

"No," a new, cold voice said. "I think you're all wrong." Mokuba came up, wearing a peculiar expression and holding something innocently behind his back.

"Mokuba!" Seto called. "I didn't even know you were gone; what happened?"

"Are you alright?" Anzu and Shizuka asked together.

"I'm fine," he said coldly, "and I know who the murderer is." Everything was silent after his declaration, except for the harsh patter of rain outside the thick mansion walls.

He smiled maniacally and pulled a gun from behind his back. "It was Mokuba, in the hall... with the revolver."

And with one terrified, piercing scream, the lights flickered off into darkness.

* * *

"Yugi! You must be strong!" Jounouchi grabbed his shoulders and shook him violently. "What will we do? What will we do? However shall we live through this time of turmoil?"

Yugi just stood confused, watching his tall, blonde friend pace around the room wildly. "Jounouchi... it-it's going to be, um, fine. Don't worry."

Jounouchi put a hand to his head, eyes wide, the speed of his pacing only increasing. "Don't worry, he says; it's going to be fine, he says. Yugi! How can you be this brave?"

Yugi scratched the back of his neck. "Um... it isn't difficult?"

Jounouchi shook his head. "I guess you're right, Yugi. But I don't think I could do it– I can only admire your strength. I think that... Yes, the solution you've come up with is the only way. You must sacrifice yourself for the good of the rest of us!" He clapped Yugi's shoulder with finality.

"S-sacrifice... myself?" Yugi asked, suddenly frightened of his friend and the madness he had been spouting.

"I'm going to miss you buddy."

* * *

"Alright, birthday boy," Yugi said mischievously. "Are you ready for your cake?"

Seto crossed his arms and grunted, the triangular hat with the pom-pom on top making him look simply ridiculous. Jounouchi and Honda suddenly burst through the door, wheeling an enormous cake into the room. With effort, they lifted it onto the table.

Yugi, Jounouchi and Honda exchanged sly smirks as they blew on their party whistles and yelled, "SURPRISE!"

A scantily-clad Anzu popped out of the cake. She smiled sexily, and stepped onto the table. Seto couldn't help but notice the glob of cake that had inadvertently gotten on her chest. Dipping a finger in icing, she crawled over to where Seto sat, his eyes as wide as dinner-plates. He watched her sensually lick the smooth, creamy icing off, swirling her finger in her mouth.

And suddenly, he remembered why he loved his birthday.

* * *

Seto frowned and called again. "Anzu! Anzu! An–" Suddenly, a body collided into him. He smiled to himself, arms open in a waiting embrace. "Anzu! I've been–" But he abruptly stopped mid-sentence as he came to an unpleasant realization.

That was not Anzu.

He growled to himself, unhappy with the two boys in front of him. Yugi and Jounouchi were NOT his favorite people. "What? Wherefore art thou not Anzu?"

Jounouchi rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, "Wherefore art thou talking like such an idiot?"

Yugi just smiled. "And good morrow, sir. How art thou?"

Seto scoffed. "Not yet fool enough to consort with such rogues." He sneered as Jounouchi's eyes narrowed. "Now where hast thou hidden Anzu?"

"We did nothing! Accuse fair Yugi not, scoundrel!" Jounouchi's ire began to rise.

"But soft!" Yugi cried. "Who doth approach?" Everyone turned to look where he was pointing.

"Seto!" Anzu called. "Stop harassing my friends! I've been looking everywhere for you; why'd you run away from me?" She sighed, and crossed her arms over her chest. "I swear, what am I ever going to do with you?"

* * *

"AAH!"

Jounouchi shot straight up from the bed, thin sheet falling away from his body. With wide eyes he looked at his hands, turning them over to be sure he was real. He glanced around the dark room, reassuring himself he was home. He fell to the pillow with a sigh.

"Man, I had the freakiest dream ever. It nearly scared the piss out of me!" He shook his head in remembrance. "Anzu had all this jewelry, Mokuba killed people, Yugi talked like a frickin' play or something! It was... it was seriously disturbing."

"Don't worry honey," a groggy, half-asleep Honda said, rolling over and snuggling into Jounouchi's chest. "It was just a bad dream."

For a moment, Jounouchi couldn't even think.

"OH MY GOD!"

**_XXX_**

"AAAH!"

Yugi shot straight up in bed. He shook his head, clearing the sleep from his eyes, and peered around his room wildly. "Whew..." he said quietly. "It was just a dream."

"That's what you think, big boy," the cake-dancing Anzu said, pinning him to the bed."

"SOMEBODY SAVE ME!"

* * *

"AAAAH!"

A shaking, mussed-up Seto Kaiba shot like a rocket up from the mattress. He looked around the room, looked beside him, and then apprehensively looked under the bed. There was nothing there. He sighed, and raked a hand through his hair.

"That is the last time I ever watch _Return of the Swamp Creature from the Black Lake II- part 1 ½ (Revenge of the Spawn of Wolfman)_ before I go to bed. And to hell with Mokuba's "special" nachos."

And with a grunt and a quick fluff of his pillow, he fell back into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

End A/N: Wow, this might just be one of the stupidest things I've ever written. And one of the longest "chapters" of this story! Good grief. But anyway, I'd appreciate any reviews you'd like to give. This was supposed to be something really brief to hold the readers over until chapter seven, but... Things can certainly change. Ya read it; review it; have a nice day.

ILB

COMING SOON TO A COMPUTER NEAR YOU! -"Lifestyles..." chapter seven! _In Which Anzu Hides Under Tables and Seto Sings the Blues_


	8. The Media and the Masses

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant_**

* * *

A/N: Well! This certainly took long enough, didn't it? I'm awful sorry... Heh; but anyway! Here's chp. 8! I'm too tired to remember what all I needed to say, so I'll prolly just come back and add something later. Read and enjoy, everyone!  


* * *

The Media and the Masses  
_(In Which Questions are Asked and Seto Sings the Blues)

* * *

_

She put in the disc. She turned out the lights. She started the show.

"I got this from the company that did it," the teacher said happily, "so there might be a few slow moments, or a few awkward film cuts. We're getting a free preview, though, so I don't want anyone to complain!" She put the mandatory stern-face on as she gave them the warning. But just as quickly, she reverted back to sunny smiles. "Here we go!"

**xXx**

_I did not want to do any damned interview. I don't do interviews; I don't do people. Is it truly my fault that the moronic plebeians around me have brains the caliber of kindergartners? I can't help nor hide my brilliance. But, of course, the world wasn't made just to cater to the rich and refined. (God... If only...) Everyday I'm forced to put up with those... those... Fools! Idiots! Really, they simply repulse me. No words in any language are base enough! Well... I suppose my rant– though true– is unwarranted. But I do NOT do interviews._

A tall, thin woman with fine, well-dressed hair and a short, rather tubby man in a suit that nearly didn't fit him stood outside a tall, regal-looking mansion. "You sure this is the place?" she asked in awe. The man nodded. "Wow..." With a smile to the camera, the woman gently pat her hair and then rapped three times on the thick, wooden door.

Almost immediately, the door opened with a soft 'creak' and a head of scruffly black hair popped out into view. "Hey! You must be the interview team, right?" Without waiting for– or expecting– an answer, he ushered them inside. Exchanging curiously appraising glances, noting the expensive decor, they were led to a small, comfortable sitting room.

"Well," the woman said, settling down on the couch. "You must be Mokuba. Where's your brother? May we speak with Mr. Kaiba please?"

Mokuba snorted in laughter. "Yeah, sure, if you want to go get in the shower with him. He's not going to be out for at least another twenty minutes."

"Oh." She thought for a moment and then perked up. Well maybe you can answer some questions for me while we're waiting for him."

Mokuba shrugged. "I guess so; whatever."

_

* * *

I should have known it would be a bad day the moment I woke up. Nothing particularly unpleasant happened then, mind you, but I really just should have known. Things never do seem to go my way. They should, of course, but they rarely do._

_I've never been a morning person. Never. And I never will be. I sincerely and severely dislike being forced to crawl out of my warm, extremely comfortable bed to do silly tasks that a man of half my intelligence could be taking care of. But you can't ever trust anyone to do something that you want done right– for quality, I'm usually willing to forego a good night's sleep. _

_On that day, the day those damn people came with their cameras and their questions, I was particularly worn out. I didn't manage to drag myself out of bed until eight. I decided to have a quick shower before they arrived, and I sent Mokuba down to try and ward them off, should they arrive while I was bathing. Of course, I should have realized that he'd be far more likely to help them than to yell at them to get the hell off of our property. Really, you'd think with me for a sibling the boy would be a bit more of a bastard. _

_It felt so good there– we have excellent water pressure, and the hot water never runs out. (That could be because the staff knows I'll throw a tantrum if it ever it does, though...) I love the feeling that comes with being clean; it seems so pointless to stay dirty when all one needs is a bit of warm water. Though sometimes even a shower won't wake me up: I must have spent a good five minutes groping around the towel bar before I realized I had left my clothes in my bedroom. I pulled on a towel and prepared to dress and head downstairs. Hopefully the interrogators most unwanted wouldn't have arrived, and I could forage around for a quick meal. As is my luck, that was far from the case._

_

* * *

_

"So..." the woman said, "do you and your brother have any family, or is it just the two of you?"

Mokuba shrugged. "I'm not really sure. No one took us after our parents died, so if we did– or do– they didn't want us. Seto's the only family I need."

The woman smiled kindly, feeling even more sympathetic towards the adorable young boy. "That sounds lonely, though. Both of you must have a lot of friends."

Mokuba, for some reason, began to grin. "Well Seto certainly hates a fair few people. I get along with the general population much better than he does, but aside from Seto himself there's nobody I'm real close to."

The man spoke up. "What about your brother? He doesn't have any relationships either? Rumor tells, you know."

"Ooh, yes!" The woman brightened more. Give us the juicy stuff. Any girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers?"

Mokuba sent her a mild glare. "That's not really any of my business– or yours. But..." He laughed a little, and the woman leaned forward eagerly. "Seto says he doesn't need any distractions. Um... I've only ever personally met two of them– Seto said the rest were little better than prostitutes. Oh, 'cept he didn't have to pay them."

The woman's eyes went wide in surprise. "Oh... Really now?"

"Well yeah," Mokuba continued. "I mean... Seto's never really gone for intelligence or something that could last. He usually goes for the stereotypical bimbo– believe me, you could probably have better conversations with a door. It was funny; Seto said once that whenever those women were made all the stuff that was supposed to be used for brains went into their, t– erm... chests instead. Like this one girl–"

"Who was it?" the man asked curiously.

"Oh I don't know, some supermodel. Anyway, big brother said she didn't even know how to multiply. Seto was probably exaggerating, but... It was funny. He's actually a really funny guy when he's not all angry. Oh, and there was this one girl– DJ. I got to meet her; she was really nice. She and Seto actually went on a date one time to see some weird show thing. I don't think Seto liked it very much; they didn't go out again."

"Well that's too bad," the woman said, discreetly copying something down in a notebook. "What did you say the woman's name was?"

Mokuba thought for a moment. "Um, I don't really know her real name. Seto just called her DJ, 'cause it stood for something else. Maybe... Well, it was like Janet or something. I don't really know."

The conversation fell into nothing for an awkward moment. The woman cleared her throat and said, "It's been about half-an-hour, don't you think? Maybe we could go up and check on your brother– surely he's not still in the shower."

Mokuba frowned. "I'll bet he went to his office to do something for KaibaCorp. And after he nearly promised me, too." He sighed. "Alright, come on; we'll go barge in on him– make him see the error of his ways. Act interested in his company– he'll be more li'ble to talk to you if you bring something about that up."

The three ascended the stairs, headed for the infamous home office of Seto Kaiba.

_

* * *

Everyone has those days. Those God-awful days. Those Murphy's Law, wish you were dead, never getting out of bed again days. For me, they're rare, but when they happen... My one philosophy comes into play: because if you're going to do something, then you really ought to do it RIGHT. After all, if you don't do give it your best, what's the point in giving any at all?_

_And that seems to be true for everything. I mean really, why should a day just be _bad_ when instead it can be agonizingly, gut-wrenchingly horrible?_

_

* * *

_

The sight that greeted their eyes was such that nothing has equaled it since. Picture this:

Seto Kaiba...

Towel...

_**Singing.**_

Oh yeah; it can happen.

_Oh... Fucking hell. _

_I'm standing in the hallway– of MY house, mind you– in nothing but a rather damp bath towel, and my younger brother has brought two cretins to gawk at me. And– _

_Well. It appears that they have cameras. The world can share this glorious moment with us all._

_Fuck! Damn it, this is beyond inappropriate! And I was... Singing, damn it, I was singing! Ruthless business DO NOT sing! Oh God... They're holding back laughter. This is so humiliating. Someone is going to die._

_

* * *

_

"Oh... my..." the woman said quietly, her eyes glued to the bright-red young man in front of her.

"I'll be," the man said, wiping his forehead with a handkerchief.

_Squeak_. (This was Mokuba... trying for all he was worth not to bust a gut laughing.)

"You must be the interview team," Seto said angrily, pretending he wasn't embarrassed. "I'm dripping on the carpet, so if you don't mind..." They didn't move or speak. He glared. "Alright, though it is in poor taste, I'll put this bluntly: unless you're going to come in there and dress with me– and you're NOT– I suggest you go downstairs and patiently wait for me to put on some proper attire." As an afterthought he added, "Or you could get the hell away from me now and save me the trouble of throwing you out later."

They all turned to go, not at all eager to face the wrath of some a fearsome opponent. Seto noticed Mokuba trying to slink away with them, and promptly grabbed his arm. "Yes big brother?" Mokuba asked, trying for an innocent smile.

Seto just glared. "When they leave... your ass is mine."

_Squeak!_ (Mokuba again... out of nothing less than pure terror.)

Seto pulled on something presentable, and angrily emerged from his room. He wasn't happy.

No... Seto was never happy. But his absolute _rage_ seemed to burn into something so deep and fierce that mere words completely fail to scratch at the surface.

Seto was NOT happy.

"H-hi big brother," Mokuba said hesitantly, trying to resist the urge to cower. Seto wouldn't really hurt his only family, but then there were plenty of sharp objects to do the job for him.

"Well!" the woman interviewer said, clapping her hands together. "Shall we begin?"

* * *

They all– especially Mokuba– laughed uproariously. Seto just scowled. "It wasn't that funny."

Near tears and clutching his belly, Mokuba shook his head. "Funny doesn't... doesn't... Doesn't even begin to describe it! Seto– they kicked you out! You're banned from that zoo for life! It's... it's hilarious!"

Seto came as close to pouting as was possible. "Is not."

The woman wiped tears of mirth from her eyes. "Oh my. Oh my! You and your brother certainly have an interesting life, don't you Mokuba?" The still-chuckling boy nodded. "I think that they've gotten it wrong– it seems like _you_ take care of _him_."

His bubbly laughter subsiding, Mokuba nodded enthusiastically, his eyes bright. "I've been trying to get people to realize that for years!" He crossed his arms in a show of mock-authority. "I just don't know where Seto would be if I wasn't here to keep him in line."

"Hey," Seto said in a soft rebuke, "I do Ok most of the time, don't I?" Mokuba shrugged in an almost-yes– Seto ruffled his mop of hair, and the brothers laughed together.

"You did everything, Seto," Mokuba said. "Although... Well, it came at a way too high price, but I'm happy and I know that's what you worry about. We just have to work on you!"

"Too high a price?" the man asked. "Embezzlement? Fraud? How exactly did you become so wealthy? Did you have anything to do with the death of the previous Kaiba?"

"You can't ask that!" the woman shrieked, smacking the man's balding head. "How can anyone be that tactless?"

"Yeah!" Mokuba said, standing up. "My brother worked hard to build up what he has! Gozaburo did nothing for him– and Seto would never kill anybody, not even Yugi! We... We deserve this! You don't know how hard it was for Seto; you never had to gothroughall the terrible stuff he did. He saved me! Gozaburo be–"

Seto put a hand on his shoulder. "Mokuba. I think that's enough."

The woman nodded. "Alright. Thank you for your time." She bowed politely, and drug the man and camera man out of the mansion.

"Well..." Mokuba said, upon their departure, "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Just so you know... Your coffin's being made."

_SQUEAK!

* * *

End A/N: (dies) Agh! Well there you go; another worthless piece of nothing. Ugh. This turned out nothing like I had planned. I'm very disappointed. Hopefully, when I don't hate it so much, I can come back and fix a few things. Please review-- I'd really appreciate it._

ILB


	9. Bet Your Bottom Dollar

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant

* * *

_**Disclaimer: heh... heh... Yu-gi-oh isn't the only thing that I don't own... 

A/N: Wow! An update so soon? Yes, it's true! And it's SO long! For this story, I try to limit each chapter to 2500 words or less, but this exceeds 3000. Ugh. However, I couldn't find anything I was willing to cut. Heh. There's SO MUCH dialogue; I can't help it! I love writing dialogue! I LOVE it! The only little glitch in there (besides the amount) is the... erm, tone. I tend to emulate the voice of whatever I read/listened to right before I sat down to write. I was talking to some of my friends with rather strong accents, and I had to make a conscious effort not to write the characters like that.There are a couple of key points in this chapter though, so don't think that it's totally pointless. Said points might be a little hard to pick up, but eventually all shall be explained. Oh, and the language is a little coarser than usual. That's it; read and enjoy, everyone!

* * *

Bet Your Bottom Dollar  
_(In Which Anzu Hides Under Tables and Dialogue is Absurdly Abundant)_

* * *

"Well..." The teacher said, flipping on the lights. "That was... enlightening? I must admit, I wasn't expecting that. We really do learn new things everyday! I..." She looked at her watch. "Actually, the bell's going to ring soon, so just do your homework and I'll see you next class period!" 

"Heh, that was great!" Jounouchi said, whispering across the row to Yugi. "Kaiba's like... weird, man! This is brilliant; more material than I do what to do with." Wearing a contented, complacent grin, he folded his arms behind his head, and sunk down in his desk, legs splayed out on the floor. "Now– just how should I take advantage of the situation..."

"You shouldn't tease him too much," Yugi said.

"And why the hell not?" Jounouchi looked at him, shocked that he even suggested such a thing.

"Teasing isn't nice," Yugi said matter-of-factly. He looked back at Kaiba, noting without surprise that the poor corporate genius seemed unusually red. "He's already embarrassed enough as it is; we shouldn't make it worse."

"No," Honda said, coming into the conversation, "I really think we should."

"Honda!" Anzu reprimanded, "You don't even hate the guy; why in the world do you want to make him miserable?"

Honda shrugged. "Devil's advocate– role I was born to play. Besides, it's fun egging Jounouchi on; he gets so worked up– it's pretty damn hilarious!"

Jounouchi graced him with a venomous look. "Thank you, Honda; so nice to know I have such wonderful friends. And same goes to you Anzu! Why'd you stop Honda? With me and him together, we could have overruled Yugi! Don't you hate him, too?"

"Um..." She glanced around nervously. When all else fails, go on the defensive. "Of course I hate him! I mean... I certainly don't, um, NOT hate him."

Jounouchi looked at her blankly. "What?"

Her face flushed, and she shook her head. "Um, nevermind. Hey! Isn't it almost time for the bell to ring? Let's get our stuff packed up!"

Jounouchi rolled his eyes. "Anzu, you are one strange girl. Too much to deal with sometimes. Don't not hate him? How the hell does that work?"

"Don't try to work it out," Honda told his friend, a serious expression on his face, "You might overtax your fragile little mind." Jounouchi began to emulate a dog's growling, ready to fight should the occasion arise– should Honda say another word.

Yugi laughed and said, "Aw, come on guys. Do you always have to act like tha–"

"We wouldn't act like that," Jounouchi interrupted, putting a pause on his and Honda's little feud, "If you let us tease Kaiba. Come on Yugi, please!"

"Yeah," Honda agreed with a grin, "What harm can it do?"

"I never liked being teased," Yugi said quietly, looking down. "I don't think he would either."

Jounouchi put a hand on his shoulder kindly. "Hey. We don't wanna hurt him or anything, just poke a little fun. We'll be gentle, I promise."

Honda looked at him, an eyebrow raised in half-annoyed disbelief. Jounouchi glared.

"Just let them, Yugi," Anzu said, from her position of repose on her desk. (Head on folded arms... trying to ignore the others) "They won't leave you alone until you give them your blessing."

Yugi rolled his eyes and shrugged. "You guys don't need me to tell you what you can and can not do; give it a go if that's what you really want."

Jounouchi's smile spread slowly over his face. He and Honda smacked hands. "Excellent."

"Hey, Kaiba-boy!" Jounouchi called, waving his hand in the air to get the other's attention. "Wanna chat?"

The seriously-red Seto narrowed his eyes and frowned. "Screw you," he spat.

Honda pretended to be quite offended. "What vulgar language! You should be ashamed."

"We just want to talk," Jounouchi said. "Y'know... Ask a few questions, that sort of thing."

"I'll put a stop to this now," Seto said angrily. "I dislike all of you strongly. I do not 'chat' in the first place, and should I ever choose to, you would the least likely candidates. Why don't you go waste brain cells on something else? I don't want to catch your stupidity."

Honda smirked, and put his hand under his chin. "Did anyone ever tell you that you have a _beautiful_ singing voice?"

Seto closed his eyes, willing his cheeks to turn a color outside the range of tomato. "I really don't care what you think."

Luckily for him, the bell calling them to their next classes rang at that instant, saving the poor boy from further torment. Seto strode out of the classroom as quickly as he could, hoping to avoid another onslaught of unwanted inquiries.

But with Jounouchi's determination, that wouldn't happen. "Hey!" he called, dropping various homeworks as he hurdled out the door, "Come on, Kaiba, don't you wanna talk about it? I'm not blind, I see you blushing. Heh, and you thought we were the losers– guess everybody knows the truth now!"

"Shut up," Seto commanded silently, embarrassment and rage boiling inside of him.

"You could at least answer one question!" Jounouchi continued, having nearly caught up to Kaiba.

"Will it get you to put a stopper in that annoyingly wide mouth of yours, thereby causing you to refrain from discussing my personal business in the middle of a crowded school hallway?"

"Whatever," Jounouchi said with a shrug, not having heard a word. "I just wanna know what DJ stands for."

Seto inhaled in aggravation. "Damn it."

"Yeah, I know you don't wanna answer but–"

"No, you fool, that's what it means. The 'D'? Have you forgotten your alphabet already? I have to leave; why don't you go piss on a fire hydrant or something?"

And leaving a muttering Jounouchi behind, Seto Kaiba went to class.

* * *

"Yeah, revenge is sweet," Jounouchi said, as he walked with Yugi after the school day had ended. "And does Kaiba ever deserve it, too. How many times have we been made fools of at _his_ hand? I just like getting him back. I really hate that guy." 

"I know," Yugi said. "You never fail to remind me."

"Right." Ignoring the tone– or just not getting it– Jounouchi forged on. "And I couldn't really say much because the asshole ditched me once we got in the hall. I did get something out of him, though. That chick that Mokuba was talking about that Kaiba went out with– she has the weirdest name. 'Damn it'. Well... Janet. Damn it, Janet. What the hell's that about?"

Yugi shrugged. "I don't know; maybe Kaiba has weird taste in pet names."

"No, but that's just it. I swear I've heard that before." He furrowed his brow in thought, scratching his scraggly head. "I just... I just can't place it."

Yugi sighed. "I wouldn't worry about it if I were you." Jounouchi was his best friend, but Yugi knew he'd be listening to nonsense and constant muttering unless he got Jounouchi off on another subject.

"I guess you're right." Suddenly he brightened. "Hey, I'll ask Honda! He's meeting us there, right?"

Yugi nodded. "Yeah. Actually, he and Anzu should catch up to us pretty soon. They said that they'd either catch us or just find us when we get there." He laughed as Jounouchi began to grin wildly. "Hungry already, aren't you?"

"Hell yeah! Man... Come on Yugi, let's go!"

Sure enough, their friends caught them. "Hey guys," Anzu said, smiling brightly. "Have a good day?"

Jounouchi and Yugi nodded. "Yep, sure did. How about you, Anzu? You seemed like you weren't feeling good in third period, though. Anything wrong?"

Anzu blushed and turned her face away from them a little. It was true– she was a bit uncomfortable then, but she was not even about to go into the reasons why. Was it her fault that half-witted television companies paraded about half-naked young men? No, indeed. And it wasn't only that... The Kaiba in the interview had been funny and almost... nice– to Mokuba, at least– and it upset her preconceptions about the boy greatly.

"No, I'm fine," she answered. "And... well... Hey, we can talk about it later!"

Honda shrugged. "Whatever you say, Anzu."

They arrived at the mall soon after that, and– like ants– followed a direct path to food. Once suitably seated and stuffed, Yugi decided it wouldn't be too impolite to pry. "So Anzu... Wasn't there something bothering you?" Honda and Jounouchi paused in their discussion– concerning the name and identity of Kaiba's old flame– to surreptitiously listen to their friends.

"Well," Anzu said defeatedly, "it's official. I have lost my mind completely."

Jounouchi and Honda exchanged glances. "Alright Anzu," Honda agreed. "Whatever you say."

Yugi coughed discreetly, drawing their attention to him. "Can I ask... what brought on this sudden realization? You Ok?"

"Oh I'm fine; I'm just crazy." She put her chin in her hand. "Life sucks."

Jounouchi grinned in a most mischievous manner. "Well if you are so very certain then I wouldn't dare dispute you." He draped a friendly arm across her shoulders. "Oh Anzu, Anzu, Anzu– you just gotta be strong. Crazy or not, we still love you."

"You know what," Honda said, looking at Jounouchi worriedly, "she's not the one I'm concerned about."

Jounouchi shot him a quick, poisonous glare.

"You guys," Anzu said with a sigh and a smile. "I'm not kidding, I really am–" Suddenly, her eyes went wide and her whole body locked. With a small noise that sounded almost like a squeak, she ducked under the table. And then there were three.

Yugi, Jounouchi and Honda just sat there at a complete loss: what in the world was causing their friend's irrational behavior? Maybe she really was crazy. "Anzu," Yugi whispered down at her, "why are you under the table?"

"Kaiba!" she hissed back at him. "He's right over there."

"Oh." He looked at Jounouchi and Honda in question, but they just shrugged, quite as confused as he was.

"Hmm," Jounouchi said curiously. "You're, uh... being a little silly, Anzu. I didn't know that we needed to hide from the guy now. I mean, he's one of the wickedest S.O.Bs that ever lived to make our lives miserable, but it's not like he's going to turn you into stone or anything. Come on out."

"No."

"Come on, Anzu; be a good girl, now."

Though they couldn't see her, she was scowling. "Shut the hell up."

Honda laughed. "Aww, don't be sore, doll. Just tell us why you're hiding."

"It's... It's not that simple," Anzu said defensively. Glad that the boys couldn't see her, she squirmed uncomfortably. "I'm not hiding from him. Alright, so actually I am, but I'm not hiding from the man himself as much as I'm hiding from the sudden, irrational attraction to him that seems to have sprung up in my traitorous body."

Not giving the others time to respond (a smart move indeed), she forged on. "I don't like him! I swear I don't; I never have. But... Oh! They shouldn't allow pictures like that to appear in regular magazines. I can hardly look at him now! He's a rude, antisocial bastard, but... the boy does have a body. An extremely nice body, at that. Yeah... An–"

"Alright! Alright!" Jounouchi said, cutting her off before she could say something that his poor mind wasn't able to handle, "I think we get it. And..." He sighed. "I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed in you, Anzu. Kaiba? How in the bloody hell can you possibly be attracted to Kaiba?"

"I don't know," Anzu said sulkily. "It's not like I wanted this to happen or anything. And it isn't like I actually _like_ him or anything. Give me a break here– I have eyes, you know."

"Whatever," Honda said, rolling his eyes. "I'm kinda... Well really Anzu, you could do so much better. Me and Jounouchi always figured you had a thing for Yugi."

At that, Yugi's eyes got wide and he lowered his head in utter embarrassment.

"And you know what, just for that..." Honda said, smirking like a cat in the cream. He raised his hand high, and then whistled. "HEY! Kaiba! Come over here for a minute!"

Anzu smacked his knee as hard as she could, growling to herself. Honda just laughed and watched a scowling Kaiba stalk over to their table.

"What is it, you outstandingly ignorant lackey? Do you wish to assert Yugi's superiority again? Or maybe you'd like to request a song. Or, why the hell not, maybe you'd like to tell me how God-damn attractive I am in a fucking towel!"

"Whoa," Honda said, putting up his hands. "No need to take your frustrations all out on me. I just saw you walking all alone over there and thought that maybe you'd like to hang out with us."

"I'd rather be skinned alive. May I leave? I think being in your presence has taken good years off my life."

"I'm not complaining," Jounouchi muttered.

"No one asked you," Seto sneered. He had been hassled and harassed all day, and was in NO mood to deal with the inanity of the Yugi-Bunch. And speaking of bunches... "Where's the other one of you?" Seto asked. "Normally, she'd be... shrill at this point. Finally scared her off as well?"

"For your information," Jounouchi said, trying to sound cool and calm, "Anzu loves us. She just..." He tried not to let his vision drop to her hiding-spot. "Went to the bathroom."

"A pity," Seto said, with a not-quite shrug. "I thought she'd finally regained her senses."

"What do you mean?" Yugi asked innocently.

"Well," Seto said as though he were speaking to imbeciles, "It just seemed like, out of all of you, she was the only one who had any sense at all. Which, of course, is saying something, since she couldn't hold a candle to a 5-year old."

Yugi tensed for a moment, hearing a soft sound of anger coming from underneath the table. Why she had to hide he didn't know, but she was his friend, so he'd do all he could to help her.

"Right, like you're so much better," Jounouchi sneered. "I'm getting kinda sick of you insulting us all the time. We're not idiots, Kaiba, whatever you want to believe. You probably pay off everybody at school just so you can get those high and mighty grades of yours."

"I don't have to work, you brainless mutt, because I'm brilliant. If those damn teachers want to fail me, they can; I could care less. And if they want to pass me– well, I don't give a damn about that either. There's no need to be jealous; some of us are blessed and... you aren't."

"Oh, a regular teacher's pet, aren't you?" Honda said sarcastically.

Seto smirked maliciously. "I'd rather be a teacher's pet than a teacher's bitch."

Honda smiled sweetly. "Bite me, you fucking asshole."

"You know, as much as I'd love to, I'm afraid I have an appointment to keep." He gave Jounouchi– in particular, for he was sneering at all three– a snarky glare, and started to turn around. However, he started as his eye caught on a very peculiar sight. He smirked, pleased with the discovery.

"Oh, gone to the bathroom, is she? Well then; enlighten me. Who could that girl under your table be?"

The three boys exchanged guilty glances. Reluctantly, Anzu crawled out– as gracefully as she could– and sat back down in her seat. She pouted as Seto smirked at her. "Hi Kaiba," she said, sulking beautifully.

To his credit, Seto tried to contain his glee. A little.

"Hello Mazaki." His smirk widened. "I'm not even going to ask why you were under the table; there are only so many reasons you'd be down there, and I don't think I really want to know."

"Shut up," she spat at him viciously. "I don't like what you're insinuating."

"Yeah," Jounouchi said loudly, trying to back her up. "She just didn't want to see you!"

Anzu, honestly, could have slapped him. And felt absolutely no remorse.

"Oh, hiding from me w ere you?"

"Why don't you just get to where ever the hell it was you said you needed to go. We don't like you anyway; unnecessary time in your presence should be avoided when at all possible." She waved him away, putting on a rather overdone act to cope with her embarrassment. "Goodbye, Kaiba."

"Getting rid of me so quickly?" He laughed almost cynically and rolled his eyes. "Oh Anzu, I'm hurt." He chuckled to himself once more, and then to the whole group's relief he was gone.

"Well." Yugi said, breaking a Kaiba-induced period of awkwardness, "That was... not completely terrible."

Honda laughed. "That's just like you, Yugi; put a positive spin on any situation."

Anzu sighed raggedly, and buried her face in her hands. "He's such a prick! I hate him! Why does he have to be so pretty?"

Jounouchi looked at her as though she were diseased. "I'm still going to have to fight you on that one, Anzu. I may not be a woman, but who the hell can think that... _that_ is attractive?"

Anzu laughed. "Oh, more than just me, I assure you."

Honda chuckled appreciatively to himself, although he knew a private joke. "You know what, Anzu? Like him. If you really want to, go ahead and like the bastard."

"I _don't_ want to!" she shrieked. Kaiba was right; she could be shrill. "I'm trying as hard as I can to suppress these stupid... feelings, or whatever they are." She groaned in frustration. "It would be so much easier if I could just buy a kit."

"Um... What?" Yugi asked, warily confused.

"You know, the Make-Your-Own sort of thing. No worries about personality or anything– I could have a babe with the IQ of Einstein and the cuddle-potential of a kitten. I'd make my own man, and then I wouldn't have to worry about stupid, stupid Kaibas."

"Dude!" Honda said suddenly, slugging Jounouchi on the arm. "I got it!" Jounouchi just looked confused. "No; come on, think about it– what she just said."

The wheels in his head began turning. "OH!"

Anzu rolled her eyes. "What are you two babbling about?"

Honda and Jounouchi exchanged mysterious glances and grins, the victory their new knowledge brought making them positively giddy. And, as though to prove some great point, they announced jointly, "LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"

* * *

End A/N: Well! There we have it. Sorry for the length; I'm going to try to have more description and a little lessdialoguein the future. And there wasn't even a funny little, er, device-thing in here! Well, there was one weird reference, and kudos to anyone who picks it up! (So obvious...(glances at last line)) Um... Oh,two more things! Ithink I might be taking a few too many liberties with Honda's character. He all but flirts withSeto as I'm sure you noticed, but I just thought it was too great tostifle!Heh. If you don't like it,please let me know so I can have a better guideline for future chapters. 

THANK YOU A THOUSAND TIMES to all the wonderful people whohave reviewed. I have over 100 reviews... this shocks and amazes me. You'reallfabulous. Alright- til chp. 10! (push the button... leave review... you know you wantto...)


	10. Material Boy

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant

* * *

_**

A/N: Whoo! Another quick update. I'm actually pretty proud of that, because I have NEVER been one to update quickly before. (laughs sheepishly) The reason being, of course, that in my other works I had some plot, and much more description. I have trouble writing GOOD description unless I'm in the mood, and I just haven't been lately. Dialogue, for me, is easy. I enjoy writing. (If you haven't guessed, this is another dialogue heavy chapter. Sorry.) Hopefully, things are finally revealed. Yes, this chapter is... CHAPTER TEN! And that has no relevance to anything! Ha! Well... Just read and find out. Who knows? There might be a surprise inside...

* * *

Material Boy  
_(In Which Steve Directs and There is "Brad")_

* * *

"Look," Honda said defensively, "I don't see why it's such a big deal." 

"Don't see why it's such a big deal!" Jounouchi bellowed, "You're dating a teacher!"

"We're not dating, she's not much older than we are, and it's just tutoring."

"Oh yeah, uh-huh; tutoring my ass," Jounouchi muttered.

"It IS tutoring," Honda said, glaring fiercely at his friend. "I just need... a little extra help."

"Whatever. If you are getting tutoring, which I don't really believe, then I don't think I really want to know just what subject you're getting tutored in."

Honda's eyes narrowed. "Just what are you insinuating there, Jounouchi?"

Jounouchi shrugged his shoulders. "Me? Insinuating something? No!" Honda smacked him, and he chuckled heartily. "Let's see... What could you be studying? You, her– alone– the romantic air of scholarly text..."

"You're an idiot. How can you just go from being a complete buffoon to talking about 'scholarly text'? And there's nothing _romantic_ about it. We're just going over some work for business class– I've had some trouble with recent assignments."

"What– copying down facts about corporations and capitalist economy and looking up business-related vocabulary words?" Anzu laughed. "Yeah, some trouble."

"Look, it's not a big deal. She's just an instructor, and I'm just a student. What's the problem?"

Yugi coughed, a grin on his innocent face. "She wouldn't happen to be teaching you CPR would she?"

Honda was confused. "No; why?"

"Because one day after school I think I accidentally walked in on a lesson."

(xXx)

"**_Cut!"_** The director wiped his brow. **_"Fabulous people, absolutely fabulous; but I'm going to need you to do it again."_**

"**_Oh come on, Steve!"_** Anzu said, exhausted, **_"That's five times in a row we've done it. Give us a break!"_**

Jounouchi grinned. **_"I know I'm enjoying it. Shall we take it from the top?"_**

Honda glared and slugged him in the arm. **_"You're just as tired as the rest of us. The only reason– the ONLY reason you're having fun is because you get to torment me. Why won't anyone believe that it's just an innocent relationship?"_**

"**_Heh, a little too much into character there, Honda,"_** Yugi said with a laugh, grabbing a bottle of water off the table of cast refreshments. **_"It's only a fan-fiction after all."_**

"**_Yeah that's right,"_** the director snapped, **_"But it's going to be the best bloody fan-fiction those yu-gi-oh-philes have ever read. Come on, show some spirit!"_**

"**_Just take that spirit and shove it up your ass,"_** Anzu muttered to herself. **_"I'm going to my trailer!" _**She told them all loudly.**_ "Don't you jackasses dare disturb me, or you WILL pay." _**She stomped off, eager for the big, fluffy bed that would whisk her off to dreamland.

Director Steve scratched his head. **_"Eh, you think we can cut Anzu's part out?"_**

Yugi smiled at the frustrated man. **_"Just give her an hour. She's be fine by then, and we'll re-do the scene, and it'll be perfect."_**

(xXx)

Honda frowned, his ears reddening deeply as his three best friends laughed like hyenas. "Oh man Yugi, that was great! That was... that was good." Jounouchi laughed a little on an exhale. "Yeah, let her _instruct_ you, Honda, I sure bet you need all the help you can get."

"Shut up," Honda snapped tersely. "You're being stupid and those barbs aren't even clever."

"Aw, we're sorry Honda," Anzu said kindly– but teasingly. "But you know we love you. Yugi and Jounouchi are just jealous that they can't get girls for themselves."

"Whatever," he said with a shrug. "I'm not going to try to defend a relationship that doesn't exist." He smiled at Anzu and then smirked at the other boys. "You're right about them, of course. Poor Jounouchi couldn't even pay a girl to take him out." He looked down at his watch. "Well I really have to head. Talk to you later, Anzu. Oh, and don't forget– meet me at that little coffee place on Friday afternoon, alright?"

"Ok Honda," she agreed as she waved him off. Yugi looked at her curiously. "Huh? Oh, he just asked me to meet him there because he wanted to, I don't know, tell me something or hang out or... something. Who knows with that boy, huh?"

Jounouchi, still sore over Honda's comment, just grunted. Anzu put an arm around his shoulders and said, "But you know, Jounouchi... I hear the math department just got a new intern!"

He growled as she and Yugi couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

Mokuba looked at him blankly. "And... who are you?" 

Honda sighed impatiently and crossed his arms. "I'm one of Yugi's friends! Your brother's expecting me– would you tell him that Honda's here?"

Mokuba peered at him intently for a moment. "Oh! I remember you now! Yeah, I think Seto mentioned something about Honda and warning him if you came and restraining orders earlier. I wasn't really listening. But come on in! He's in his office."

Nodding warily, Honda followed the boy into the house, up a flight of stairs and down a hallway, stopping in front of a thick, foreboding door.

"Here we go!" Mokuba said happily. He opened the door and pushed Honda in. "Have fun!"

(xXx)

"**_Oh bloody hell, this is total garbage!"_** Steve threw his hat on the ground. **_"I quit! You're all idiots, absolute idiots! Bah."_** He jumped out of his chair and stormed out, ranting loudly to himself the whole way. The door slammed, shutting the irate Steve out forever. The cast just stood there silently, blinking and breathing, too shocked to say a word.

"**_Well."_** Yugi said quietly. **_"That was unexpected."_**

"**_Steve is an idiot,"_** Seto replied with a scoff. **_"You know he'll be back; this is his only job, and the fool doesn't have any other skills to recommend him."_**

Jounouchi crossed his arms angrily. **_"Man, I need this session's check already! He better be back soon."_**

"**_Don't worry,"_** Yugi said with a shrug, **_"We just need to give him some time. He wasn't really that angry, probably just drunk."_**

"**_Yeah,"_** Honda agreed, taking advantage of the break to stuff his face with a few of the delectable delights offered. **_"He hates every scene we do, even if it is good. Which, by the way, the last scene wasn't. I really don't know how I work with you people."_**

"**_I was brilliant,"_** Mokuba said haughtily.

"**_Yeah, just shove it, Honda,"_** Anzu said half-heartedly. **_"The scene didn't flow well– the writer's fault, not ours."_**

"**_That might be true,"_** Seto sneered, **_"but it happens to be our job to make it flow. I wasn't even in scene; that's probably where it's lacking."_**

"**_You two better not get into a fight," _**Jounouchi warned, noting Anzu's glare. **_"There's so much Anzu/Kaiba sniping in the show that we really don't need it here. You don't have to stay in character the whole time we're filming. Take a break once in a while, damn."_**

Anzu and Seto shared a secret smirk. **_"Well..."_** she said slyly, **_"I think it's pretty hot when he's being that cold, ruthless businessman."_** She glided over next to him. **_"He sure as hell doesn't have any sense when it comes to money in real life."_**

"**_Hey,"_** he reprimanded, **_"I thought you liked being poor. Ungrateful little vixen."_**

She winked. **_"You know it."_**

"**_Cut it out, you guys,"_** Yugi said, **_"It's annoying the hell out of me."_** He sunk down into one of the big armchairs scattered around the set. **_"Damn, can't get a moment's peace with those two around."_**

"**_Hey!" _**Mokuba announced, startling them all, **_"Have any of you noticed that throughout this whole fic no one has ever said the business teacher's last name? She's just... the teacher."_**

Everyone glanced around, contemplating the new revelation. **_"Weird..."_**

* * *

Seto put down his pen, and gave Honda a frosty look. "What is it?" he asked coldly. 

Honda smirked. "Nothing, just thought I'd come for that little chat you always seem to be worming your way out of. Don't you wanna talk?"

Seto glared. "No; I don't want to talk. The only reason I agreed to see you in the first place was that you told me you had Mokuba and I had to grant you an interview if I wanted him back." He rolled his eyes and then resumed his glaring. "You did realize, didn't you, that Mokuba was with me– in the same room, actually– at the time you made said phone call?"

"Of course I knew it," Honda said with a grin, "But I had to get your attention somehow."

"Well... For this nanosecond, you've got it. Tell me why you're so intent on speaking with me."

Honda smirked. "One word, Kaiba: Blackmail."

Seto raised an eyebrow in profound disbelief. "You're... blackmailing me?"

Honda leaned back in the chair he was sitting in, his arms coming behind his head. His grin widened. "Hell yeah I am. Got a problem?"

Seto pushed a button on his desk. "Security, I think I may need you."

"Don't you even want to hear what I have to say?"

"No."

Honda shrugged and stood up. "I guess that it would be best for me to leave, then. Too bad, though; I'm sure Anzu will be very interested to know how you feel about her."

Seto started. "What the hell do you mean how I feel about her?"

"Seto, Seto, Seto," Honda said, shaking his head. "Are you truly so naive? Did you think that no one would notice?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, and I fail to see how Mazaki has a relevant place in any of this at all."

"Oh but she does." He grinned. "You know she does." Honda sat down again, attempting to assume a business-like air. "You see, I'm missing a date for this–"

(xXx)

"_**I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T SOME DAMN TUTORING SESSION!"**_

"_**Shut UP, Jounouchi!"**_

(xXx)

"–so I think you better listen to what I have to say."

Seto waited silently. Honda was having too much fun leaving him in suspense.

"Well? What is it, you fool?"

"Oh, poor innocent Brad."

"What the hell did you just call me?"

"It's a nickname, Kaiba-boy; future friends use them all the time."

"I refuse to ever be your 'friend'."

"Oh– so you don't care if I tell Anzu you're madly in love with her?"

Seto bristled. "I do not like her; I never have liked her, and, guess what dumbass, I never will. Please vacate the premises immediately."

Honda grinned, like a child about to hide from a babysitter. "Seto-kun and Anzu-chan, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G--"

"I do NOT regard Mazaki in such a... an unspeakably horrendous manner. The very thought repulses me."

Honda appeared to think that over for a moment. "Oh? So you don't care that my dear little Anzu likes you as well?" Seto's face went slack with surprise and Honda winked. "Oh yeah, she thinks you're hunky."

Seto glared. "I don't appreciate you saying things like that."

"What's the matter Brad, don't appreciate a compliment?"

"I hate you."

"I love you too, big boy. So what do you say? You'll cooperate with me?"

"No."

"Aw, come on Brad! Don't you want to whisk your princess away and life happily ever after?" Seto just looked at him like he was an idiot, not even gracing him with the energy it took to create a glare. "Well, on second thought, you're really more like the dragon. Maybe one day Yugi'll slay you, and he and Anzu can run away together. Wouldn't they be just adorable?"

Seto stiffened, and tried to pretend like he didn't. "What Mutou and Mazaki do is their business, not mine."

Honda snorted in disbelief, ready to drop the playful pretenses. "Get real, Kaiba; you like her. Admit it! I'm not a complete fool, regardless of how I may act. You like Anzu. Or, even if you don't like her, you _certainly_ seem to like her body. And how do you think she'd react if I told her that?" He shook his head at the dire fate. "You'd never be the same again."

"I do NOT–"

"Bull shit. You DO."

Seto glared at him, pushed almost to the breaking point. "Why did you make this foolish quest in the first place? What the hell do you want, money?"

"No, silly Brad, I want Anzu to be happy. And if cranky, rich, obsessive Kaibas make her happy, then that's what she's going to get." Honda picked up a small Blue-Eyes figurine that was on the desk and twirled it between his fingers. "I have a plan; everyone will be happy, if you just work with me this one, rare instance."

Seto folded his arms and scowled crossly.

Honda stood, victorious. "Brilliant! I'll take that as an 'I accept, Honda, you handsome devil, you.' You and Anzu will get to be silly over each other together, and we–"

"Ahh. Of course. I should have suspected there was some other motive than our so-called _happiness_."

"And WE," Honda said loudly, continuing with a glare at Seto, "Will no longer have to endure your cruelty, because you'll be so besotted with our dancing devotee that you shall forgot how much you hate Yugi, Jounouchi and me. That's all."

Seto sighed in exasperation. "There's just one flaw in your little scheme. I think she's an air-headed bitch!"

Honda shook his head. "You really mean to persist in your little charade, don't you?"

"It's not a charade, you mindless disease. I can say with full sincerity that–"

"You're hopelessly in love with the girl?"

"No! Stop it; I do not like her!"

Honda grinned. "You certainly are defensive. And you're acting different. Acting almost... nervous?"

"You're an idiot."

"At least give it a chance, Brad. Something wonderful could come of it."

Seto thought for a moment, his expression softening. "She likes me, you said?"

Momentarily feeling a tiny– minuscule, almost non-existent– pang of guilt for lying, Honda nodded furiously. "She certainly does!"

Seto smirked. "A situation I believe I could more than take advantage of. Poor, weak girl– letting her feelings get the best of her. She'll learn her lesson, though– one way or the other."

Honda had stood up, prepared to close the deal and leave, but Kaiba's tone left him wary. "Um, I don't think that's quite what I mean. I–"

"What was this plan of yours?" Seto stood, and walked out from behind his desk.

As Seto ushered him to the door, Honda said, "I was going to have you two meet at that coffee place a block away from the school– you know, almost a date-situation. But if–"

Seto smirked. "Perfect." He gave Honda a firm push out the door. "I'll have security show you the way out."

Honda rolled his eyes as the heavy door slammed behind him. "Jerk. But at least I got him to agree." He strolled down the hallway to the stairs, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "The possibilities– oh, this is gonna be good."

Seto sat in his office, feeling a strange sense of relief. "Finally rid of him." He had almost no intention of keeping his word. He didn't like Mazaki, and that was the end of it.

Scowling, and needing to clear his head, he decided to go find Mokuba. He didn't have any pressing matters concerning work, so he could afford to goof off a bit. "Damn idiot," he muttered to himself as he headed toward their living room, "I should have kicked him out immediately for even daring to suggest something so defaming." His scowl deepened. "There's nothing to think about; I don't care anything about Anzu. I don't."

(xXx)

"**_A'right, you pathetic louses," _**Steve said happily, **_"That's a wrap."

* * *

_**

End A/N: Well! That was something, eh? ...Not really. Heh. Anyway-- chapter eleven, unfortunately, won't come out quite as soon as this did. I need a quick little break, because I'm about to have a lot of work to do for school. Don't worry, though; I will be back! And about Steve? I really don't know what I was thinking. I was going to try to do a soap-opera thing, like behind-the-scenes, but the actual chapter was so long that I didn't have room. Heh, and this was supposed to bea short chapter. That's it; don't forget to review, please! 


	11. Giving Back to Society

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant

* * *

_**

A/N: WELL! I couldn't resist; I just couldn't resist! Happy happy heart day, everyone! MWAH! Hee hee. Golly... I'm SO angry at this chapter, and yet... I LOVE IT. So conflicted... The GREAT SECRET (that I've been hinting at all along!) is finally revealed, but it's really rather anti-climactic. And by now I'm sure everyone knows what it is. It's funny though, because I've been TRYING to hint at it since chapter five, with a bit farther-reaching hints starting in chapter two. HA-- I bet you never thought this story had so much depth! (It doesn't; I'm just deluding myself.) And... wow, that's it! This was UN-EDITED, so BEWARE! WHAA! I have the habit of just looking over things as I write them, and usually that catches any particularly egregious un-grammar-ly-ness. (And spelling errors,word displacement, etc.) With that said, ENJOY! my fellow Seto/Anzu devotees. And I dedicate this chapter to all my reviewers. (tears up) I love you all...

* * *

Giving Back to Society  
_(In Which There are Crushes and Seto Scowls)__

* * *

_

Seto scowled. He wasn't happy; actually, he was quite un-happy. It was Thursday afternoon, he sat in the dark, abysmal reaches of his cavernous living room, and he was scowling. Oh, and what a terrifying scowl it was. He had already frightened away a faint-hearted maid, and he lay in wait for his next unsuspecting victim.

It wasn't long before poor Mokuba appeared.

"Seto?" he inquired to the room, flipping on the light. "Why are you sitting in the dark? Sulking again?"

"I'm not sulking," Seto said sulkily. "I'm enjoying the peace and quiet.

"Whatever, Seto," Mokuba said, rolling his eyes. "I don't know what you're upset about, but you're obviously sulking." Mokuba plopped down on the couch, beside his brother. "Can't we watch TV or something? Sitting here doing nothing is really boring. Why are you in here, anyway? Hiding from something?"

Seto glared at his younger brother. "I'm not hiding from anything, Mokuba. I was sitting here, enjoying the solitude, when you came and disturbed me."

Mokuba sighed, not going to even attempt reasoning with his brother. "Well I'll leave you alone, then. But come on big brother; sitting alone in the dark– for entertainment? Get some more work for your company or a date or... something! You need a life!" And with a last grin and a wave, Mokuba skipped out, leaving his brother alone.

And to the world's surprise, Seto resumed his scowling.

* * *

Arisa sat at her desk, grading a big stack of papers. Classes hadn't started yet, so she was taking advantage of the early morning stillness. Just as she had scribbled the last red "X" on a particularly poor paper, she heard a knock on the door. 

She smiled. "Come in."

A tall boy (with freaky follicles) came inside and shut the door. She smirked. "Well. Shouldn't you be in homeroom, Honda-kun?"

He leaned down, his elbows resting on her desk. "I won't tell if you won't." He smiled, quick and sweet. She laughed softly.

"What are you doing?" he asked, peering down at her work.

"Grading tests. You better let me work unless you want to fail."

"Ooh, that's harsh Arisa-sensei," he said teasingly. "And here I thought I was your favorite student."

She looked up at him, a smile slowly spreading across her face. "You know you are. But I need to get this done and I don't need any distractions. You have to work hard if you want to keep your 'favorite' status."

"But I so _enjoy_ being a distraction."

She leaned closer. "Oh you do, huh?"

He leaned in as well, surprising her with a quick kiss. "You know... You sure are sexy when you're grading tests."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "And you're incorrigible. Now why don't you let me finish?"

The bell rang, and he shrugged. "Guess I have to, now. My departure's unavoidable." He kissed her again, tipping her chin up with a finger. "Miss you."

"You'll see me third period, you little idiot."

He grinned as he sauntered out the door. "You know you love me!"

"Get out of here," she called to his back, laughing to herself. She couldn't help it– something about that boy...

He really was her very _favorite_ student.

* * *

Honda grabbed Kaiba's shoulder, pulling the other boy back into the classroom. "Hey," he said quietly, out of earshot, "Don't forget about this afternoon, alright?" He grinned suggestively. "You and Anzu? I know you're looking forward to it." 

"I most certainly am not," Kaiba retorted. "I never even agreed to go along with this stupid plan of yours, so why–"

"Aw come on!" Honda whined. "You don't know how much she's looking forward to it!" Kaiba rolled his eyes and pulled away, successfully exiting the room and making his escape. "You better be there!" Honda called, after him. With a sigh, he let Kaiba go. "He better be there," he muttered, headed toward his locker. "He _better_ be there."

And perhaps to everyone's surprise, Kaiba was there.

Anzu spotted him as he walked in the door, clearing a path as he walked to the counter. She took a sip of her drink as her eyes followed him; he appeared to be searching for something, pacing back and forth at the counter as his drink was being made.

She had to admit she was curious. He looked nice, in dress pants and a button-down shirt. But what was he doing in a coffee shop? Domino's most popular coffee shop, she realized. Even evil CEOs probably needed caffeine once in a while.

Honda was supposed to be meeting her, but something had apparently come up, and he was going to be late. She and Honda rarely hung out together; usually they were with Yugi and Jounouchi as well. But he was one of her best friends, and he had made it sound like whatever he needed to talk to her about had been urgent.

Anzu glanced over at Kaiba again. He was scowling fiercely, looking ready to decimate a planet. Honda couldn't keep her attention, not when someone like _that_ was in the room with her. She was an honest person, and could admit when she had been wrong. And she had been wrong. Kaiba was no longer an object worthy of contempt and disdain, he looked like a young _god_, with a wit and an intelligence to match. He was beautiful, and she couldn't overlook that any longer. She liked him. She liked him a lot. And even though she didn't know him as well as she could, _no one_ (aside from Mokuba) knew him, so at the very least she didn't have much competition.

She looked again. He was _still _scowling.

She almost giggled; watching him was quite amusing, especially since he had no idea she was doing it. She took another sip of her coffee, wondering how bad the consequences of going over there to pester him would be. She'd come to grips with the fact that she was infatuated. There was no getting around it– Seto Kaiba, the God-damn fox he was, had her _hot_ and _bothered._ Anzu shivered a bit at the very thought.

And since he didn't even know she was there... She crossed her legs and smirked, feeling deliciously evil. What was the harm in indulging herself? She rested her chin on her hand, her smirk growing wider.

He had just ran an annoyed hand through his hair, exhaling in a most exasperated manner. She decided that no pose could be better for him.

'_I wonder what he looks like naked.'_

Biting her lip to hold in the bubbly laughter that wanted to escape, she stood. Bothering him, whatever he might say or do, would be infinitely worth. With a small spring to her step, she waltzed over to him.

Kaiba scowled when he spotted her, and Anzu wondered yet again why he was there if he was so unhappy. Shrugging and taking another sip of her drink, she waved at him cutely. "Hi Kaiba."

He grunted a greeting in return, feeling secretly relieved that she had taken the initiative to speak to him. "So you're here."

"Well... Yes, this is a public place, you know. My friend Honda– you know him– made plans with me today to hang out here, but he's going to be late so I just thought I'd get a drink and read until he got here." She eyed him almost hungrily. "You can join me. If you want, that is."

He scoffed, simply fuming inside. "You really are the friendship-freak, aren't you? I'm not a charity case, you know. I–"

"Hey, calm down," she said, lightly touching his arm. "I've claimed a table over here. Sit for a while at least; in a mood like that, you're liable to spill that hot drink in your hands. Come on." She smiled and led him over to where she had been sitting. She was worried that he'd just sneer and leave, but to her immense surprise he did the opposite. He politely pulled out her chair for her, then planted himself in the seat opposite hers.

But he looked furious; he looked like he would rather be inside a raging volcano than sitting there with her.

"So," she said, trying to start a conversation, "What's up? You, ah, here for the coffee?"

"Best in town," he said with a shrug.

"Yeah."

There was silence.

"Well this is awkward," Anzu said after a moment. "I don't really know what to talk about. To be completely honest, I never would have expected you to come and talk to me, so this whole situation is a little screwy." She looked at him earnestly. "Any topics at all would be appreciated." When he didn't respond, she went on with, "Unless you'd rather just sit here and be silent and awkward, of course. We can do that, too."

"Oh, forgive me for disliking superficial conversation. I should be killed on the spot."

Anzu cleared her throat, feeling a bit ruffled. "You didn't have to come sit down."

He shrugged. "Point taken."

"So... If we're not going to talk, what are we going to do? Sip coffee and stare at each other?"

Kaiba sneered. "As much as I know you'd love to stare at me Mazaki–"

"Ooh, a little arrogant, aren't we?"

He smirked. "When you're as rich as I am, you can afford it."

Anzu scoffed. "Right. I must have forgotten that money's the most important thing in the world. Maybe I'll go out and buy some world peace. Or happiness! No, maybe I'll go out and buy a big barrel of love, and–"

"Can't buy me love," Kaiba murmured, interrupting her.

Anzu shot him a glare. "You're not amusing."

He shrugged. "I never claimed to be, did I?"

She rolled her eyes. "I suppose not, oh rich and powerful one. All your wealth astounds me, how may I show my devotion?"

"Bowing down before me declaring to the world that I am the superior would be more than sufficient."

Anzu giggled cutely. For some unfathomable reason, he felt the irrational urge to make her laugh again. "This is crazy!" Anzu said. "Do you have a sniper outside waiting for me or something?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

She giggled again. "Well, you're being so nice to me that I figure you must have some ulterior motive." He was silent, and she said, "You're not _just_ being nice to me, right?"

Kaiba shifted in his chair. "Look Mazaki, I–"

At just that moment– saving our poor Seto from saying something he just might regret later– Honda showed up, peppy and happy and skipping towards them.

"Hello all!" he said with a wide smile.

Anzu returned his happy expression, but Seto fixed him with the iciest glare the world had ever seen. Trying to keep his voice level, he grabbed Honda's collar and pulled him over to the side. "Excuse us, Mazaki– we need to talk."

When they were a suitable distance away from the other patrons, Seto pushed him away and upped the intensity of his glare. "What the hell were you thinking?" he spat. "Are you trying to make a fool out of me? I only came because I felt sorry for the poor girl, and now I've come to find out she wasn't even expecting me! What's your damn problem, you stupid, ignorant, foolish, conniving–"

"Whoa, there, Brad," Honda said, holding up placating hands and offering a repentant smile. "I have an explanation."

Seto growled. "Then you sure as hell better start explaining."

"I tried to tell Anzu I had set the two of you up, but I never could. I... Ok, so I was a little scared of what she'd do to me if I told her the truth. Everytime I tried to hint at it she thought I was making fun of her for being attracted to you."

"Then you should have told me that! I–"

"Why does it matter, anyway?" Honda asked calmly. "If you don't actually like her, have a crush on her– whatever!– then you should just accept this afternoon as a minor, unavoidable inconvenience and move on. Why's that so hard for you to do?"

Seto looked down, glaring a hole into the floor. Honda nearly burst open his grin was so wide. But he quickly suppressed it before it could be spotted. Only another little push, and...

"Come on, Brad ol' buddy– you can say it; I know you can!"

"Say what, you foolhardy idiot? I'm warning you now that you're well on your way to making me angrier than is wise."

Honda shrugged. "I just want an honest answer. Do you have a thing for Anzu or not?"

After an eternally long, never-ending, lasting-forever, on-and-on-and-on, and eternally-long-again second, Seto said quietly– and most unwilling, scarcely having the courage to admit it to himself–

"Yes. I think I do."

* * *

End A/N: (looks at last sentence... goes back, reads it again) SQUEEBY! SQUEEBY! Wow, that was the stuff. Yes, my avid fans, THAT is the big secret/plot-device this whole fic is based on. Seto has had a crush on Anzu for MONTHS, and finally it's out in the open. Bwa ha ha-- bet you weren't expecting **THAT**! Go me. Eh... Lord, all that chocolate I've mindlessly consumed is getting to me. I feel all fuzzy inside... So **read** and **review** and rid me of the fuzziness! Or...eh, I don't care; I just hope everybody liked this! LOVE THE ELEVEN! (bows) Thank you. Thank you so very much. 

_-Next Time on_ LOTRATA:Yugi and Jounouchi hatch a plan. Anzu gets infatuated-- Seto's the MAN! TheYu-Gi-Oh! boys get into a pickle. (Or perhaps they do not... for I am quite fickle.) Twelve will be wondrous, a chapter of lore! With Seto and Anzu and... "I'm not a whore!" (Actually, that's a line from a _lovely_ (I say lovely, but I mean deliciously indecent) little Valentine's one-shot I did. Maybe I'll post that later. Heh.)


	12. Shelf Life

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant

* * *

_**

A/N: Hello and welcome to the twelfth installment of the ever-popular (I wish...) "LOTRATA". This chapter is exciting, fun, and longer than usual. Do I like it? Periodically. When I'm not hating it, I love it! Eh... Anyway, thank you to all the WONDERFUL people who have reviewed thus far, and thank you to anyone reading this now. This version only went through my own spotty revision, so-- though hopefully there aren't-- if there are a few errors I hope you forgive me. And it is SOO hard to write Seto in-character while he's all Anzu-i-fied, so forgive any "ACK! KAIBA DID **NOT **JUST DO/SAY THAT!"s. That being said, read and enjoy! (enjoy... Enjoy... ENJOY!)

* * *

Shelf Life  
_(In Which Madwomen Attack)

* * *

_

Anzu watched as Kaiba stalked out the door. Honda sat down, a smile upon his face, looking not at all concerned that he had seemingly made Kaiba so very angry.

"What was that about?" Anzu asked curiously, wondering what the two could possibly have had to talk about.

Honda just grinned. "Oh, I don't know; he just had to ask me for homework or something. I... forget."

"You just spoke to him a second ago– I don't think you'd be able to totally forget the subject of the conversation that quickly."

Honda just shrugged. "Nice weather we're having, huh?"

"Honda!" Anzu said, exasperated. "What's the big deal? Why can't you tell me?"

He sighed. "Alright, Anzu, you caught me." He reached across the table and took her hand in his. "We were talking about how beautiful you are."

She laughed and playfully smacked him. "Oh get serious. If it's that secret, I just won't ask."

He winked. "Don't worry, doll; it won't be a secret for long."

The talked easily for another half an hour, before Anzu realized that she had to head home. Domino was never that dangerous, so she felt perfect safe walking. The day was beautiful as well, so she took the time to enjoy it. She walked down the sidewalk happily, humming a happy tune with a smile on her face.

Her happy mindset was briefly interrupted by the sight of a small mob, but since it _was_ Domino– and there hadn't been madness in almost a month– she wasn't too worried. There was probably a new duel system introduced, or some ambitious maniac recruiting an army of drones for the next attempt at a hostile world take-over.

Shrugging it off, she continued on her way. She briefly thought of asking her mother for advice about the "Kaiba-Situation", but... Well, her mother knowing that she was a big enough girl to "like boys" was all well and good, but the very prospect of informing her that she would enjoy doing much, much more than just _liking_ them was most unpleasant. Anzu figured that she could, and would, work it out on her own. Unless...

She smiled sneakily to herself. Unless she could get Yugi to help her of course. She continued her walk in high spirits, resolving to apply for the short boy's help that very afternoon.

However, it was just at that moment that something– and she wasn't immediately sure what it was– slammed into her. "Oh my– What the hell do you think you're doing!"

* * *

Seto stormed out of the coffee shop, feeling like an utter fool. Honda hadn't told Anzu it was a date. Anzu had just thought the meeting was accidental– she had no idea that she was being set up with him at all! On the bright side, that thought did please him. She didn't know; she had no clue how he felt. If he felt at all, for he still wasn't convinced that the stirrings she inspired were more than a case of... indigestion or some other logically-explained physical ailment. It certainly wasn't anything to do with "love". 

'_Well...'_ he amended mentally, thinking of her laugh, her smile, her bright eyes, her grating (and yet somehow so endearing) personality, that tantalizing hint of beautiful body... Alright, so perhaps there was something there a little more complex than just stomach pains. He could admit, to himself, that said "feelings" for Anzu came from– just maybe– that region in his chest where his frigid heart resided. Maybe.

He was just sifting through any other possible explanations when a shrill yell startled him. "OH MY GOD! IT'S HIM!"

Seto looked up, rather angry at whatever was the cause of such a ruckus. But his eyes went wide when he spotted a mob of women racing right towards him.

"SETO KAIBA! IT'S SETO KAIBA! GRAB HIM, GIRLS!"

He was momentarily paralyzed with utter disbelief. That... just couldn't be happening. The very idea was absurd! ...Right? The loud screams and wails coming toward him at an alarmingly fast pace put any doubts to rest. He was being stampeded. An instant too late, he tried to run, only to have some meaty hand grab his collar and pull him into a veritable ocean of screaming women. While some may have welcomed such an experience (Jounouchi _leaps_ to mind), Seto was absolutely appalled.

There were hands– so many intrusive hands– everywhere, groping him, grabbing him, touching him in places they really didn't need to be touching. There were hands grabbing his legs, hands at his waist, hands on his shoulders and face. They were rabid! He felt like a piece of meat being fought over by a pack of wild dogs.

"OH MY GOD!" one girl screamed, "I GOT A STRAND OF HIS HAIR!" A new wave of yelling commenced, as the other women frantically grappled to get a souvenir of their own.

Seto floundered in that sea of fanaticism, trying desperately to resurface. But wait! He saw Mazaki walking by. An ally! He chose to ignore any other import she had, needing her only as an anchor to the world of the sane. He waved, but if she saw him, he was ignored.

"I GOT A BUTTON OFF HIS SHIRT!"

"I WANT HIS SHOES!"

"I'M TAKING HIS PANTS!"

Ok, that was going a little far. He cleared his throat, trying to get their attention. "Ladies. Ladies." No response. "Excuse me. Ladies." Their pawing was getting quite annoying. He growled, his patience nearly gone.

"Ladies– GET THE HELL OFF ME!"

There was a collective gasp, and for a moment they all were still. Seto was not one to waste an opportunity when it presented itself. He ran for all he was worth right at Anzu.

"Oh my– What the hell do you think you're doing!" In his haste, he hadn't slowed in time and had ended up slamming into her.

Seto shook his head and tried to straighten himself up. "I was being mauled, Mazaki. I thought with your helper instinct you'd have already tried to interfere."

"What are you talking about, Kaiba?"

He grunted. "Oh, excuse me. The screaming horde of rampaging fan-girls trying to tear off my clothes must be incredibly hard to spot."

She giggled under her hand, trying to stifle the sound without much success. "Th-that was _your_ mob?"

He glared.

Anzu grinned. "I didn't know that was you back there. I... Well actually I probably wouldn't have helped you, but..." She shrugged. "Um, sorry?"

He rolled his eyes, wondering why he had run to her in the first place. He surveyed himself in distaste, noticing a few buttons gone from the rather expensive shirt he was wearing. He glared at Anzu (it had been tailor-made to fit him in a color and style designed just for him and it _had _been worn to impress _her_, but that hadn't turned out at all like he'd anticipated).

She looked him over as well. "You're a mess."

"Yes, thank you for the brilliant assessment, Mazaki– I certainly couldn't have figured that out on my own."

She rolled her eyes back at him. "Whatever. If you're going to be like that, though, then I'll rethink the oh-so-kind offer of help I was just about to extend." She craned her head to one side, looking as though she were listening intently. "And it sounds like you're going to need said help very soon." She smirked. "Your fan-club approaches."

He hissed out a curse.

"I was just heading home. You could join me... If you want, that is."

He sneered, looking disgusted at the very idea. Though the thought was... It was... Far more appealing than it should have been. He sighed. Was spending time with her worth actually spending time with her? Loathing someone you were attracted to took much too much effort.

The mob of madwomen was getting closer, and Seto knew it was do or die time. He brushed himself off for the final time, and then extended a hand to Anzu. "Well– shall we then?"

She took it with a smile, and then they ran.

"This way!" Anzu laughed, leading them onto another street.

"Can't you run any faster?" Seto complained, "I think they're gaining."

"Oh shut up," Anzu snapped in return, breathing heavily from the exertions of their escape. "We're almost there!"

And she was right: after a few more turns and a cut through a park, they were there. The House of Mazaki. Anzu glanced around to make sure they hadn't been followed– still caught up in their game– before unlocking the door and ushering him inside.

Seto looked around warily, feeling like an unwelcome intruder in some sort of... shrine. Anzu sat down at a bar in what was obviously a kitchen, and seeing no other options open he quickly followed suit.

Well.

Things were even more awkward than they had been earlier.

He was in her _house_, where she lived everyday. Somehow, the very thought made him squirm. It was... well, decidedly weird, and he wasn't quite sure how the situation should best be handled.

"You hungry?" Anzu asked, snapping him out of his odd stream of thought. "We have, um, fruit and stuff if you'd like it. I guess my parents are still at work, so..." She cleared her throat. "It's just us."

She was so flustered herself, she never took the time to notice how very telling the situation was. Kaiba had, first, engaged in not-quite-hostile conversation with her, then ran to her for help in escaping his rabid fans– an escape made while their hands were joined– and finally was in her very home, not even insulting it, or commenting on how inferior it was to his own. And the delusional girl honestly believed that a snowball had a better chance of getting in hell than she had of getting in Kaiba's heart. Love really does make fools of us all.

Seto shook his head at the offer of food, so she shrugged and got herself an apple out of a nearby bowl. After that, neither spoke a word.

"So..." Anzu said finally, desperate for something to fill the silence, "Am I now to believe that I'm better company than those mad fans of yours? Knowing of your intense dislike for me, it seems nearly unbelievable."

He scowled. "I acknowledge you enough to hate you, don't I? Their anonymity merely proves how worthless they are." Anzu wasn't sure whether to be insulted or flattered. "I don't understand it, either; I've had a few swooning girls before, but never like this."

Anzu coughed, covering a laugh. "That magazine article you did? I... Well, I certainly can't say that I enjoyed it, but that picture of you certainly sparked some fresh interest. You're rich, and you're not hideously unattractive, so I'm fairly sure that they read–or saw– you, and that's what has spawned the sudden mobbing."

He raised a curious brow. "Oh, not hideously unattractive am I? You've always led me to believe otherwise."

It was her turn to scowl. "Is it my fault you work me up to the point of blind hatred? You could be the most gorgeous man on the planet, but with your attitude I'd still call you ugly." She took a bite of her apple almost angrily and turned away. "Besides, with your money you probably had plastic surgery or something."

Seto smirked. "Money _can't _buy everything? I believe you've just proven my point instead of your own."

"I still maintain you can't buy happiness. You vainly seek to borrow from your wealth surcease of sorrow, but–"

"Quoth the Kaiba 'Nevermore'?"

Anzu snorted in laughter. "Ha... That was funny! I didn't know you had a sense of humor." She snorted again. "Oh, but let me guess– you bought that, too."

He didn't feel that even deserved a reply. And as much as he would have hated to admit it– and he would have REALLY hated to admit it, he was enjoying himself. When he wasn't being a total asshole to her, she seemed to unwind around him a little. (Astonishing!) He wondered if they would ever have any more conversations like that, easy and teasing and fun. He wondered if she'd ever invite him over again, to her cozy, happy home. But what was first and foremost in his mind: he wondered what she would do to him if he kissed her.

He wanted to.

He _really_ wanted to.

In fact, in the momentary lull in the conversation while she had been exhaling the last dregs of a laugh, he had leaned toward her with the intend of doing just that. Kissing her. Would she respond? Would she slap him away? Would she blush and be overcome with the sudden urge to give him a tour of her home? (He had been wondering where her bedroom was since they had arrived, but– though often tactless– he valued his life (and potentially parts of his anatomy) too much to dare to ask.)

He leaned in a little closer, and was just about to speak, her name already on his lips, when–

The telephone rang.

"Oh! Sorry Kaiba, but if you'll excuse me for just one quick second..." Offering an apologetic grin, she grabbed the phone from the wall and scampered off into what appeared to be a living room.

Well... As if it wasn't degrading enough to actually want to kiss her, Seto had been doubly punished by her not even noticing that he was going to! He growled to himself, watching her half-eaten apple sit motionless on the counter-top. The damned apple had gotten more action than he had.

Rather put out with phones in general, the ringing distraction had reminded him of a call he needed to make. Anzu's guess that the women had reacted to the picture that had been published coincided with his own, and he wanted that little issue immediately taken care of. He whipped out his cell.

Seto tapped his fingers impatiently on the counter. The phone rang twice before someone finally picked up. "Hello? KaibCorp PR department, how– may I help you?"

"This is Seto Kaiba– let me speak to the head. Now."

The secretary gulped. "R-right away, sir."

A brief moment later, a harried male voice came on the line. "Ahh, hello Mr. Kaiba– what can I do for you?"

Seto growled. "Why haven't you secured a retraction– or whatever– yet? I want that damned picture out of circulation now! Myojin– you better have a good reason for completely disregarding my orders."

"Well, Mr. Kaiba... You see, I-I really didn't think it would be in the company's best interest to have the picture retracted. Sales are... are up! We've had a huge leap in new product placement, our stock had gone up, and... and most importantly, the public image has never been better. I'm sure you're aware of all this already sir, but do you really want to throw that away? People _like_ the company now! I'd say that we're moving in a very positive direction. It's my professional opinion that we couldn't have asked for better advertising."

"Are you telling me that you haven't even contacted the magazine?"

"N-no... I did call. And they said that... that they'd like to thank you. That picture of you made sales skyrocket up."

And for a moment there was an uncomfortable silence.

"Myojin," Seto said in a low, dangerous voice, "I'm going to hang up now. I am not a happy man. Have all your figures on my desk in the morning. If you value your job– if you value your _life_– you will not disregard my authority like that again."

"M-Mr. Kaiba, I–"

With a very satisfying crunch, Seto threw the cell phone onto the floor and stepped on it.

Anzu surveyed him with a raised eyebrow. She shook her head. "You're cleaning that up, you know." And after hanging up her phone, she retreated once again into her living room.

Seto sighed. Once again, things deviate from plan. It would probably be best if he left, before he found a way to embarrass himself in front of the damn girl.

"Mazaki," he called, coming into the room with her, "I think I ought to be going now. This has been..." he sneered. "Interesting."

She stood from her position on a comfortable-looking couch and smiled at him. "Alright. Glad I could help. I'll show you out."

Seto followed her to the door. He stood at the stoop for a moment, she in the doorframe, neither quite ready for him to leave. "Well..." He cleared his throat.

"Yeah." She looked down, her cheeks sporting a lovely pink flush. Her eyes darted up to meet his.

Again, he couldn't help the urge to kiss her that appeared. She looked like she wanted him to kiss her! Did she? Was that coy, shy expression lingering on her pretty face an invitation? He couldn't quite tell...

Anzu gulped as Seto took an almost imperceptible step closer. She wasn't quite sure what was going on, knowing only that it wasn't unpleasant. He looked as though he were about to speak, but suddenly his mouth snapped shut and into a smirk.

"Goodbye Anzu. I'll see you at school." And he turned briskly and headed off, leaving one very confused girl behind.

She shut the door and leaned against it, her heart beating a bit faster than normal. She had had the crazy idea that he was about to kiss her. But... but he would never do that! She shook her head, clearing away all those wild ideas.

"But maybe Yugi was right," she said to herself, recalling the short conversation she had had with him. She couldn't talk long, because Kaiba was there and she didn't need him adding rude to her already lengthy list of flaws. Yugi had been surprised that Kaiba had come with her, and put forth his expert opinion that maybe what she felt for the brilliant CEO was returned. She thought for a minute, wondering if perhaps that had any truth to it.

"No; can't be!" She laughed. "Kaiba liking me? Yeah, sure– when pigs are flying."

* * *

"So," Mokuba Kaiba said to his big brother Seto later that afternoon, "Why are you so grumpy? You've been sulking a lot lately." 

"Don't worry about it," Seto said, "I'm just still angry at that stupid magazine. They refused to destroy the remaining copies, and had the nerve to _thank_ me for increasing their sales." Seto scowled beautifully. "I'm still fending off insane, salivating madwomen."

Mokuba grinned. "Oh? Have an experience on the way home did we?"

Seto's scowl deepened considerably. "I don't know what makes you say that. I..." He caught his little brother's expression, and decided to not even attempt lying. "Yes, alright?" he said grudgingly. "I was mobbed. It was quite... unpleasant."

He intentionally neglected to mention the time he had spent with Anzu; that wasn't really any of Mokuba's business anyway, and... Seto didn't need anyone _else_ knowing how he felt about the girl. It wasn't like she'd ever feel the same way.

"That's funny, Seto," Mokuba said, snickering. "I guess you finally got around to calling that guy at KaibaCorp, huh?"

Seto snorted derisively. "Oh yes, we had a _lovely_ conversation. The jackass."

"Now, now Seto," Mokuba reprimanded gently. "That's not very nice."

* * *

End A/N:Well-- that was fun, wasn't it? Once again, Seto's brain has been addled by unsuspecting Anzu, so forgive him his inconsistencies. I honestly think that I captured the basic attitude the boy would have if ever close to "in love", so no flames please. Ahh, and speaking of reviews-- if at all possible, it is my goal to exceed "Addiction" in reviews. That got 160,and this one only needs like 12 more, so please help make my dream come true! (Ha, I'm pathetic and weird...) Yeah. Anyway, I'm thinking only a few chapters left. Obviously all that's left is to have Seto andAnzuconfess, and that'll take up like one chapter. I might have to add some stuff leading up to it, though. Who knows? Anyway, til next chapter... 

Review or Radditz will claw your eyes out!Bwa ha ha! (Radditz is my kitty cat... hee hee)

ILB


	13. Out of Your Income

**_Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant

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_**

**A/N:** Whoo! Chapter thirteen here at last! Oh yeah. I'm warning you now-- this chapter isn't as action-packed as some of the other chapters, nor is it as funny. It's just... good ol' chapter thirteen. I sincerely hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, and a big thank you as well to everyone reading this. (stern glare) You should review, too. Heh. Anyway-- Enjoy!

* * *

Out of Your Income  
_(In Which Yugi Offers Advice and Honda gets Even)

* * *

_

"Well Anzu," Yugi said at school the next day, having heard the story and had time to dwell on all the intricate details and facts. "I– honestly– think that–"

"He hates me, of course he does!" Anzu interrupted. "God, I just had to fall for the ONE boy in the whole school who wouldn't look at me twice." She flopped her head dramatically onto her desk. "There is something seriously wrong with me."

They were in third period, having a bit of a free day, and using the time to their advantage. Jounouchi and Honda were arguing about something, and so Yugi and Anzu were taking the opportunity to discuss Kaiba's actions the previous day. Kaiba himself had taken his laptop and retreated to a remote corner of the classroom, so there was no danger of him overhearing.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Yugi told her gently. "I mean... nothing really serious, at least." Anzu smiled and rolled her eyes at him. Yugi laughed.

"Well, you know what, Yugi? I'm just not going to worry about it. He just doesn't know what he's missing."

"Anzu," Yugi said, almost laughing, "I really think that–"

"And this stupid crush will fade with time, right? Nothing lasts forever– you hear that all the time!"

"But Anzu, it's obvious he li–"

Anzu sighed, interrupting him again. "I feel so hopeless. I shouldn't have to put up with this!" She growled. "Stupid, stupid boys..."

Yugi couldn't believe his friend didn't see what– to him– was so clear. How could she not know that Kaiba felt the same way? There were so many signs– it was obvious! "Hey, Anzu?" he prodded gently.

"What is it, Yugi?"

"Why don't you... um..." He looked down, a little embarrassed. "Why don't you tell him how you feel? It couldn't hurt, right? And– who knows!– maybe he might, um... like you, too."

Anzu laughed, the idea sounding like utter lunacy. "Yeah. I don't think so, Yugi. We can't even have a civil conversation– how am I supposed to admit to having a crush on him?"

"Well... You said yourself that he's been acting differently. Maybe there's a reason."

Anzu had already formed her next counter-point, when Yugi's words sunk in. "That's..." She frowned. "But that's just so damn unlikely! Could he... I mean... I don't know Yugi, do you really think so?"

He shrugged. "It never hurts to try, right?"

"I guess it doesn't. I guess it doesn't." And for the rest of the day, that thought was foremost in her head.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Mokuba hung up the phone with a devilish smirk. Oh the things he could do with the information he had just acquired...

"Life," he murmured to himself as he set off in search of his brother, "is truly sweet."

Seto was in his office, typing something on his sleek new computer. The door was still open, so Mokuba knew that he wasn't too busy. Or, more correctly, he wouldn't mind an interruption.

Mokuba grinned and sauntered into the room, the new– and oh so deliciously evil– information he held adding a definite swagger to his walk. "Hey Seto." His brother looked at him curiously, noting the difference in attitude. "I know something interesting. Something _re-eally _interesting."

Seto rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you do, Mokuba. Why don't you go... write it down, or tell the TV or something. I'm busy."

"But don't you want to know? Come on– it's really juicy." He put on his best puppy-dog eyes. "Can I tell you? Please?"

Seto sighed, knowing his little brother's stubbornness. He wouldn't be getting any work done until he humored Mokuba for at least a moment. "Fine. What is it, Mokuba? What is just so important that you simply had to interrupt me?"

For a second, Mokuba grinned, holding back his laughter. "YOU LOVE ANZU! HA! Yugi and Honda just told me!"

Seto's eyes widened as he watched his giggling sibling gallop out of the office. Seto knew what he had to do.

"MOKUBA! COME BACK HERE! IT'S NOT TRUE; IT'S NOT TRUE!" Mokuba ran faster, trying to keep away from his rampaging brother. "GET THAT SNEAKY LITTLE ASS OF YOURS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, MOKUBA! I'M NOT LETTING YOU GET AWAY!"

Mokuba turned and stuck his tongue out at Seto. "At least I'm not the one all loopy for Anzu!"

Seto's nostrils flared and flames burst from his ears. "MOKUBA!"

* * *

The next day at school, Seto found himself flooded with even more feelings than usual. After Mokuba's untimely admission of what Seto knew to be the truth, he felt more embarrassed than he normally did. Yes, he... Well, Mazaki was pretty and...

He sighed. Had he really fallen so far? A sniveling hormone-ridden fool? He was appalled.

"Um... hi Kaiba," a soft voice said.

He turned to face it. He had been heading to lunch (or a period of hard work in which he just happened to ingest necessary sustenance), but upon seeing the face of the beautiful young woman who haunted his dreams, he stopped mid-stride.

"Hello Mazaki," he said coldly.

She flushed and looked down. _'Here's your chance!'_ her mind was screaming. _'You've got his full attention, the halls are emptying– TELL HIM; TELL HIM; TELL HIM!'_

"So... did you do that paper for history? I had a lot of trouble finding enough information."

He shrugged. "I finished it with ease. His assignments are hopeless, though; he tries to be creative and 'fun', but fails miserably."

Anzu giggled nervously. "Yeah, you're right."

Yugi, who had happened to be coming out of his classroom, just happened to catch a bit of this exchange. He was about to head to the cafeteria, when he saw two familiar bodies peeking out of an empty classroom. He rolled his eyes– he really had the weirdest friends.

"I got him to admit it!" Honda hissed, glaring at the blond. "He totally has the hots for her!"

"But that's impossible! How? I–" Jounouchi shook his head, still staring in wonder at Anzu and Kaiba. "Maybe I'm totally wrong on this Honda, but I just can't believe it."

Honda snored in laughter and muttered, "It wouldn't be the first time you were wrong, now would it?"

Before Jounouchi could offer suitable retaliation, Yugi appeared. "Hi guys," he said cheerfully, having caught them in the act. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing," Honda said, lying feverishly, "We were merely discussing a certain unsolvable metaphysic puzzle– quite the quandary, I assure you." Yugi shook his head and chuckled as Jounouchi tried to hide his confusion.

"Yeah, a... quan-whatever." His gaze flipped back and forth between Yugi and Honda. "I do know what that is, you know."

"Oh, _of course_ you do, Jounouchi dear," Honda said, clapping him on the shoulder. "I'd die before I'd dream of doubting you."

"Right..." Jounouchi did not seem convinced of his friend's professed loyalty.

"Anyway!" Yugi interrupted. "It's not nice to spy on others– you had better hope Anzu never finds out."

Honda laughed nervously and looked around. "Spying, Yugi? I'm hurt you'd think such a thing of us. We are your closest friends."

Yugi's face just dead-panned, and Honda knew there was no way that he'd be able to trick Yugi. And after all, there was always a chance Yugi would help instead of hinder. "Ok, you're right," Honda confessed, "But our crime has reason behind it! I simply must prove that I'm not wrong. Tell our particularly dense friend here of our little Anzu's situation– his skepticism is irritatingly persistent."

"Honda says that she and Kaiba are... y'know, well..." He looked at Yugi pleadingly. "She doesn't really like him, right?"

"Um..."

"I told you!" Honda said arrogantly. "She's practically panting over the boy– I can't believe you don't see it."

Jounouchi crossed his arms defensively. "Alright, just shut up about it. At least it won't go anywhere."

Honda and Yugi exchanged glances.

This worried Jounouchi greatly. "Right? It's not going anywhere, right? She's not gonna pursue him or anything, right?"

"Um..."

Honda raised an eyebrow and grinned suggestively. "It appears Kaiba's human after all."

Jounouchi's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "The hell! You mean he likes her, too?"

They both nodded. "You really don't see it?" Yugi asked, a little surprised. To him, it had been obvious. Jounouchi shook his head. "Well... Yeah. Kaiba feels the same way she does."

"And," Honda interrupted before Yugi could go on, "It is up to us to take advantage of this."

"What the hell are you talking about, Honda?" Jounouchi asked.

"Well boys, we love Anzu like a sister, don't we?" They nodded, agreeing. "And we want her to be happy, don't we?" They nodded again. "Then obviously she and Kaiba sho–"

"I don't think she'd be happy with Kaiba," Jounouchi muttered.

"Shut up," Honda snapped.

Jounouchi grunted. "Excuse me. I always thought it was 'girl-meets-boy' not 'girl-meets-asshole'."

Honda sighed, feeling exasperated. "Thank you for your _expert_ opinion, but–"

"Hey! I'm just as much an expert as you are."

"Sure you are. If believing that's what it takes for you to sleep at night–"

Yugi sighed. "Guys, don't fight. I think they'll come together on their own." He glanced over at Anzu and Kaiba. "Didn't you just hear? They're meeting at the coffee shop tomorrow!"

"Alright!" Honda said, pushing Jounouchi out of the way so he could get a better view. "I smell a date. At this rate, they really will do all the work themselves!"

"I don't know," Jounouchi said, "I give 'em two weeks."

"Oh, a bet, hmm?" Honda asked, excited. "I'll see that. But I think it'll be, oh... three days."

"What about you, Yugi?"

He grinned. "They've already done it. I say they'll be a couple by tomorrow."

"We'll see," Honda said with a grin. He was feeling confident. By then, Anzu and Kaiba were walking away, not quite together, but not quite separately.

Honda and Jounouchi and Yugi, after a suitable wait, followed.

"Eh, Yugi?" Jounouchi asked hesitantly. "You sure you don't mind? I mean, I know that you... well, about Anzu..."

Yugi turned bright red. "No, no; she's just like a sister. Albeit a very _pretty_ sister, but I always knew that we weren't meant to be together."

"Don't worry about it!" Honda said. "We'll find you a girl, don't you worry."

"Yeah, what about the Rebecca kid?"

Honda scoffed. "Don't be stupid. She, as you said, is still just a _kid_. Yugi deserves a more mature, sophisticated woman."

Jounouchi snorted in laughter. "Oh yeah, like you. Right– maybe we can hook Yugi up with his algebra teacher!"

Instead of getting riled up and defensive as he usually did, Honda just smirked. This unnerved poor Jounouchi. "Ahh yes– I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I found out the most interesting thing the other day. Would you like to know what it is?"

Jounouchi shrugged. "I don't care."

Honda's smirk widened. "I found out Arisa's birthday, and– if you can believe it!– she is three weeks _younger_ than, oh just a certain other blonde duelist we all know. If I'm remembering correctly, I think her name was _Mai_ something, and– Oh, Jounouchi, isn't that the–"

"Just shut up!" Jounouchi said angrily, striding ahead, ignoring Yugi's suppressed chuckles and Honda's extremely pleased smile. "Just shut up."

After that, you can be sure– Jounouchi never found reason to tease Honda about his relationship again.

* * *

End A/N: Well! There you have it. Hopefully everyone liked this. I'm not too sure about it, myself. Well, I liked it, but I have a feeling a lot of people are going to think it was boring. (wince) I'd really appreciate a review. I'm hoping for... 10 for this chapter? Please? Heh. No, I don't really care. I have a lot of chapter fourteen written already (and by a lot, I mean at least half! no lie!), so that should follow this pretty soon. (Incentives are always nice...) The end is almost here, everyone, so thank you for sticking with me! 

ILB


	14. Giving and Receiving

_**Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant**_

_**

* * *

**_

**A/N:** WHOO! I seriously can't believe it. Who would have imagined that I'd have the next chapter ready this quickly? Certainly not me! And yet, here I am, surprising us all, posting the second-to-last chapter of one of the craziest fics I've written. I love to make people laugh, and I hope that, with this, I succeeded. This chapter was FUN to write. It's short (I think...), but I'm pretty sure the content makes up for that. Wow. Already to the fourteenth chapter. Thanks a million to everyone who's read and reviewed; you've all inspired me to keep this going as fast as it's gone! Before I get even sappier, I'll finish up. Expect some fun Honda and Jounouchi dialogue (because of this fic, and the bit of personality re-write I did, I absolutely _adore_ Honda), and something really GREAT for Seto and Anzu. Alright--read and enjoy, everyone!

* * *

Giving and Receiving  
_(In Which There is Finally a Kiss)

* * *

_

"Honda," she said with a whine, "are you really busy again?" Her finger traced a line down his chest. "I was hoping we could spend some time together."

He groaned. "Oh God, you have _no idea_ how appealing that is, but... This involves scoring some money, and Jounouchi's inevitable humiliation. I have to keep these plans."

Arisa laughed. "I understand. You go have fun with your little friends, and I'll just stay at home bored and lonely. Maybe I'll think up some vicious new homework assignments to give all of you."

She smiled teasingly and he laughed softly. "So what are you delinquents up to, anyway?"

Honda grinned. "Project: Anzu. We're buying her a boy-toy."

Arisa laughed. She looked him up and down and winked. "Oh, every girl _definitely_ needs one of those." Honda had the grace to turn a light shade of pink. "But what about that nice boy who sits behind her in class? You know– Seto Kaiba. I thought she had something going on with him."

Honda started. "You noticed it, too?"

She nodded. "Honda honey, you'd have to be deaf, blind and dumb not to see the way he looks at her. I'm quite sure he chose that seat not to bother her, but just to be near her. He either glares or wistfully stares at the back of her head a lot when he thinks no one is watching him."

Honda laughed, feeling shocked. "Wow. Yeah, actually that's what we're doing. Just... forwarding their relationship on a little." He smirked proudly. "I badgered it out of him; he's liked her for a pretty long time."

"That's my boy," Arisa teased, pulling his arms around her.

He grinned, and faked modesty. "Oh, doll, that's just too much." He leant down and pecked her cheek. "I'm simply amazing, aren't I?"

She pulled him down by his collar for a longer, hotter kiss. "Amazing, my dear boy–" she kissed him again. He raised an eyebrow as she shot him a naughty smirk. "–doesn't even begin to describe it."

* * *

After school, Jounouchi and Honda met outside the building to begin their mission. Yugi would meet up with them later. They were to secure a table at the specified location, and then patiently lay in wait for their two unsuspecting subjects. Although Yugi still wasn't entirely comfortable with spying on Anzu, the others had assured him that, should she ever find out, she'd eventually thank them for it. It was what would come before that eventually that had Yugi worried. 

"Ready?" Jounouchi asked with a grin.

Honda smirked in return. "You bet your ass I am. Let's go."

Not very long after that, Yugi walked out of the school with a smile. He had had an excellent day of school, but was still quite ready for a friend-filled, entertaining afternoon. Honda and Jounouchi had coerced him into a rather deviant act of observation, and he was both dreading and eager for it. He was NOT looking forward to the sure-to-be severe punishment if Anzu discovered them, but at the same time he was hoping that everything worked out for her.

And in the back of his mind, he had to admit that he had a little personal interest vested in the match-making as well. Though he was kind-hearted with an exceptionally good soul, he certainly wouldn't mind if Kaiba found a new target for his attention. As, er... _flattering_ as it was to be singled out so, Kaiba needed– desperately, in Yugi's opinion– a bit of a distraction. It was, even for someone of Yugi's easy temper, a bit hard to take when you were antagonized by the same person over and over, day after day.

Jounouchi steadfastly maintained that there was no hope for Kaiba and it wouldn't have surprised anyone if he had formed some sort of twisted hate-club for the planning of said Kaiba's removal and inevitable destruction. Honda, on the other hand, thought that the problem was a deep, psychological one and felt that the poor boy just needed his ego stroked a bit. (Yugi wasn't entirely sure what exactly he meant by "ego", but– because it was Honda– he knew better than to ask.)

Yugi, being the sensitive young man he was, had a much simpler idea. What better way to divert Kaiba's attention than by giving him something else to focus on? And a bright, fiery image of Anzu burned into his retinas seemed no less than the perfect thing.

After a refreshing bit of a walk, Yugi arrived. He walked in and immediately spotted Honda and Jounouchi sitting at a table poorly hidden behind a large plant. If that was there idea of cover... He rolled his eyes at them– affectionately, of course– and walked over.

"What are they doing?" he heard Honda ask.

"I don't know; a waiter's in the way. It looks like... oh! They're talking. Sort of. Anzu's mumbling something and Kaiba's glaring. He looks unhappy. Are you sure he's interested?"

"Damn right I'm sure! Unlike you, Jounouchi, some of us were blessed with a brain. And it is beyond obvious that he's head over heels for our dear little friend over there. As much as it, well, near-disgusts me to admit it, he _wants_ her. Look at the fidgeting, the not-nearly-discreet glances filled with reigned-in lust, and the nervous habit he has of running his hand through that hair of his. Are you blind?"

"No Honda," Jounouchi replied in obvious annoyance, "I am not blind. But I happen to be of the opinion that Kaiba isn't human and therefore is incapable of wanting anyone. Inter-species relations is discouraged, I hear."

"I know you hate him; hell, the whole world knows you hate him! But this isn't about him, be he bastard or benefactor. This is about Anzu– endure his evils for her, I beg of you."

It was clear Jounouchi was going to concede. "Whatever. I'm just not sure that I'm comfortable with our little friend meeting his little friend."

It was at this point that Yugi felt it extremely wise to intervene.

"Hey guys," he said in a stage-whisper, taking a seat. "What's going on?"

"Hey Yugi," Honda greeted. "Nothing of any interest has happened as of yet, but we're definitely still hopeful."

Jounouchi just grunted.

"Oh– guys, look." Honda said, pointing towards the two unwitting players in the little drama the others were watching unfold. "I think they're actually going to have a conversation."

And, in fact, they were. Things were about to get interesting.

* * *

Seto was getting annoyed. Was she intentionally trying to provoke him? To drive him crazy? If so, she was doing an absolute bang-up job. He was ready to get the hell out of there, and as far away from her as he could. Though she had been the one to suggest their little rendevous, she had yet to give him a reason for it. 

After ordering two iced coffees, she finally got down to it. Which pleased Seto immensely– he was getting fed up with her mumbling.

"Ok," Anzu said, "I've got something I really need to tell you."

He raised an inviting eyebrow. "You have my attention."

"It's... well, it is a bit of a big deal, but I suppose it's... um, normal, if you'd like to put it like that. And... well... Maybe you'll think I'm shallow," she said looking down, "but I-I don't really care. I _feel_ shallow, because of this, so go ahead and think whatever the hell you want to."

"What is it?" he asked sharply, glowering at her fiercely. "I don't have all day, Mazaki."

"I know, I know. So here's the thing- after seeing that... well, rather _absurd_ interview with you, I've come to realize that... maybe you aren't so very bad. Maybe... there's more than what I first imagined."

He raised an eyebrow- in either disbelieving disdain or curiosity; she couldn't tell which. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

She scowled back at him. "You know what I'm trying to say, don't even pretend to be that stupid. I'm... Well, I... Damn it, Kaiba, I'm insanely attracted to you!" She crossed her arms and scoffed at his professed ignorance. "As if it isn't obvious. You're still a jerk- a huge one- but... Ok, and you're way too mean to my friends, and you're always acting like you're so much better than everyone else. But God, you're... You're... really, really hot."

He almost smirked. (Almost. Holding it in right then was one of his proudest moments.) Inside, he was dancing, doing backflips and generally having an absolute euphoric ball at her admission. She felt the same way! She felt the same way! He was also pleased to note that she had noticed his impressively good looks. But... that wasn't all she was attracted to, was it? He would be sorely disappointed if she only wanted him for his body. (What woman didn't want his body, he wondered. But something a little more substantial would be nice.)

And after waiting for the moment for _so_ long, though, he hardly knew how to handle it. The only solution? Contempt and disdain. At least until he was sure she wasn't just screwing with him.

"How pathetically... Yes. You had it right; shallow. You hate me- or close to it- but you're interested in me now because you've realized I'm physically appealing to you? My, my, my... Your merit has now exponentially decreased."

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes and then looked away. "You're not going to bother me with your cruel teasing because I already knew that you'd react that way; I prepared myself for the unforgiving onslaught. But I still think that..." She bit her lip nervously. "Um..."

He began to grow impatient (and of course annoyed). "What? Do you have more nonsense to spout off? Perhaps you'd like to say it before I expire."

Anzu squeezed her eyes shut and said quickly, "Despite all that, I still think that maybe you should give me a chance!" She waited a moment and then cautiously opened first one eye, and then the other. He looked like he was glaring- either he was mad or his face actually did get stuck like that. "You should give... _us_ a chance. I mean... it's not just your body I'm attracted to, you know. I think that maybe, should I ever get to know you, I'd truly like the person you'd turn out to be."

His mouth (his beautiful, beautiful mouth) was set in a firm, frowning line. He stood up and took a step towards her. Anzu gaped a little, and began to wonder if confronting him had perhaps been a mistake. He pulled her up by the arm, glared, and said, "Do you... Do you have _any_ idea..." He stepped even closer. She glanced around, wondering if she could reach an exit before he incinerated her. (Strange how those ice blue eyes could have such _fire_.)

"Um, Ok. Don't be angry," she said. "I wasn't kidding or trying to tease you or make a fool out of you or anything. I was just... proposing a possible plan of future action. I'm sorry."

"No." He shook his head and put a large hand on her shoulder. "You have no idea..." She almost gasped at the intensity of his gaze. "...how long I've waited for you to say that." His hand slid up slowly, lighting her on fire as it went, to gently cradle her cheek. And never breaking the eye contact he had her locked in, he leaned down and fiercely kissed her.

* * *

End A/N: Hail to the delicious cliff-hanger! Don't you all just adore me? I feel evil. (complacent sigh) Heh. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this. It was quick, it was fun, and it finally brought our little characters together. (gush) Aren't they adorable? Heh. Anyway, I'd love comments/con.crit./or just anything you'd like to say about the story! The next chapter is the final one. And, get this, I FINALLY get to use the corny title I've been saving all this time! Yeah, one of the reasons this story developed so quickly is because I had most of the ideas in my head already. Heh. Guess that's it! Please review, I'd love to know what you think! 

COMING SOON! THE FINAL CHAPTER OF "LOTRATA"!  
-Champagne Wishes and Kuriboh Dreams! (_In Which There are Endings)_

ILB


	15. Champagne Wishes and Kuriboh Dreams

_**Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant**_

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**A/N: **This is chapter 15-- the final chapter. I really enjoyed writing this story; it's fun and light-hearted, and, I like to think, easy to enjoy. (Hopefully everyone else feels the same way!) I'm not sure if this update was a long time in coming or not. I doubt it, because I just couldn't seem to stop writing! I'm actually pretty proud of this chapter; I think the "writing" (notdialogue!) is some of the best in the whole fic!Thanks to everyone who reviewed; ya'll are flipping AWESOME. I'm sad to see the end, but... it had to come! Read and enjoy, everyone!

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Champagne Wishes and Kuriboh Dreams  
_(In Which the Story Ends)

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_

The three observers, if they had been expecting any physical manifestation of the oh-so-obvious desire between Kaiba and Anzu at all, were still shocked at what they were witnessing. That the relationship issues the two had been dancing around were going to be resolved was certain, but it struck Yugi, Jounouchi, and Honda then that perhaps things were going to be taken a bit further than they had first anticipated.

"Well. I'll be damned," Honda said lowly, a grin on his face, wanting so badly to whistle in surprise.

Jounouchi nodded dumbly, nearly unable to voice his opinion at all. Anzu seemed so... well, she certainly didn't look unhappy, so he was doing his very best to suppress the disgust and rage that had risen up within him at the sight of her swapping spit with the humanoid techno-freak himself. Maybe it was the money. Jounouchi wouldn't like to think that Anzu was that shallow, but he'd like to think even less that she had been attracted to Kaiba for Kaiba's sake alone.

Yugi kept looking away embarrassedly, then surreptitiously looking back at them again. He felt as though he were interfering in something private, watching something meant for no one's eyes. But, at the same time, they were in a very public place, and if Anzu and Kaiba didn't want witnesses they certainly could have found someplace more private.

Anzu, for her part, was absolutely elated. At the very least, she had found that her feelings for one Seto Kaiba were reciprocated, and at the very most (though she hardly dared to allow herself to hope) she had gained an acquaintance of considerably more weight than just a "friend". The kiss certainly indicated that he was interested in her, and she could nearly have squealed (if it just weren't so demeaning...) at his surprising statement just prior to the unexpected kiss.

She'd have to be an absolute and utter fool not to realize that what he had said was especially significant. Surely– _surely– _he had meant it; he all but said he felt the same way! Had he really been just as mad as she, as attracted and– by the same token– astounded by said attraction? Anzu, however, realized that such contemplation would best be saved for a less-occupied point in time. For that moment, she was happy with the embrace– they could save discussion for later.

Seto was happy.

No– Seto was _very_ happy.

And even though "happy", in his vocabulary, usually meant "less-than-pissed-off" or "indifferent-enough-not-to-hate-the-entirety-of-the-human-species", for once he was proud (well... for lack of better terms) to rub in all the faces of his ever-devoted fan-following (who insisted he needed to lighten his mood) that life, for him–finally–, seemed to be more pleasant than not.

And, of course, the delectable helping of Anzu he was currently enjoying did nothing to dampen his spirits.

Kissing her was exactly as he had (frequently, as the case had been) imagined it would be (and even with his limited experience with the act, he had felt he could accurately predict both the merits and flaws in her technique). She did seem to fit, nice and exact, into his arms, though he did have to lean down rather farther than was entirely comfortable to reach her lips. Until then, he had never thought he'd actually be thankful she wore those atrocious platform shoes she seemed to be so fond of (she would be even shorter without them).

And it felt so good to finally act on all that pent-up passion. Even though it was just a simple, innocent attraction, he couldn't help but relish the final, intense moment wrought from all his frustrations. (Though, if truth be told, how innocent could an attraction be when it had him waking up in a sweaty daze, body wound so tight, skin so _hot_, absolutely aching for just one... little... _touch_?)

Anzu pulled away and looked down. "Um... Wow."

Seto responded with a noise akin to a grunt. (Though everyone knows that dear Seto would NEVER demean himself by grunting.) "That's all you have to say?"

Anzu reddened further. "Forgive me for being a little surprised. I was expecting something more along the lines of: _What in hell makes you think I'd ever consider giving you the time of day, Mazaki? Piss off and bother somebody else._"

"Well," Seto said, smirking and leaning closer, "Had it been anyone else, that would have been my response. However..." He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "For some unfathomable reason, you seem to be able to make it past all my barriers." He flashed a quick smirk, then pretended to think hard for a moment. "And you know, I should really punish you for that..."

She smiled, and gave the back of his neck a gentle tug. "By all means– go right ahead." And in fact, her eyes had just closed when...

"That," an all-too-familiar voice announced, pulling the two apart, "is more than enough."

Seto scowled, clearly unhappy with the unwelcome interruption. Jounouchi fixed him with a would-be fierce glare, though Seto responded only with a sneer.

Honda come up immediately after Jounouchi, Yugi following close behind. He grinned and put an arm around Anzu's shoulders. "Hey Brad," he said cheerfully. "Whatcha doing?"

Seto was torn between the urge to flee and the urge to rip out Honda's hair and beat him into pulp-like submission with one of the nearby chairs.

"Wh-what are you guys doing here?" Anzu stuttered out nervously, praying that they hadn't seen her kissing Kaiba.

With a glare, Jounouchi took it upon himself to answer. "Watching you swap spit with Mr. Moneybags over here."

Ahh. They had seen. And all her hopes for friendly reconciliation were crushed.

Luckily, neither she nor Seto had to explain themselves. Honda promptly smacked Jounouchi in the back of the head. "You idiot! What did you think they were gonna do, give each other manicures?"

Jounouchi crossed his arms over his chest and refused to meet Honda's eye. "Manicures would have been a helluva lot better than _that_ little display."

Anzu blushed all the way to the roots of her hair.

"Anyway!" Yugi said, before things could turn bloody, "Regardless of how Jounouchi's acting, he's actually very happy for both of you. Oh, and so are me and Honda. Happy, I mean; we're happy, too."

"Yeah, whatever" Honda said, letting go of Anzu and rolling his eyes. "You're just happy because you won the bet. How was I supposed to know that Kaiba's swoop in so quickly? I was half expecting Anzu to slap him."

"Wait, what's this about a bet?" Anzu asked angrily.

Yugi, Honda, and Jounouchi all exchanged worried glances. "Um..."

Seto shot all three a very nasty look. "Fools."

"Alright, guilty," Honda said, "But can you really blame us? When these two goons over here finally saw how crazy Brad here was for you, we just knew it would only be a matter of time before you two got together. And... well since we're all always broke, we just thought we'd take the monetary gain where we could get it."

Whatever reaction they were all expecting, everyone was surprised when Anzu's eyes widened and she said, "You all knew he had feelings for me?"

Jounouchi gulped. "Er..."

Honda threw up his hands. "Hey, who didn't know? It was pretty obvious when you really thought about it; hell, even Arisa noticed him making eyes at you– since about the beginning of the year."

Anzu grinned and looked at Seto. "You've really liked me for that long?"

He didn't respond.

She giggled and gently touched his cheek. "That's so cute."

"Look. Th-they're all grown up," Honda said, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. "I always knew this day would come, but... but I'm just not ready." He grabbed Jounouchi's arm and put his head on the other boy's shoulder. "My poor, dear, little Anzu..."

Anzu rolled her eyes. "Don't be such an idiot, Ok Honda?"

"Now, now Anzu," Jounouchi chided teasingly, "Don't take it out on Honda. He's just worried that Kaiba here's gonna take advantage of you! We only want to protect you."

"That's right!" Honda said, perking up immediately. "Who knows what nefarious plans he has for you?" He grinned, and doing a wretched imitation of Anzu's voice said, "Oh my, Seto-chan, of course I trust you! What? You and I? In a dark house– all alone? With wine and candles and roses, you say? Oh, and you'll even give me a tour of your bedroom?"

Immediately joining in the act, Jounouchi said, "Oh my lovely little Anzu, I ache and long for your tender touch!"

He and Honda slammed together. "Oh!" They mashed themselves into the most awkward, ridiculous embrace that anyone there had ever witnessed.

"Anzu," Jounouchi said breathlessly. "Hold me!"

"Your friends," Seto announced poisonously, "Are all idiots."

"That might be true," Anzu said with a shrug. She turned towards him and grinned. "But... They're my idiots."

And no one would ever dream of arguing with that.

* * *

"So," Anzu asked with a laugh, eager for any chance to tease him, "How long have you had a crush on me?" 

They were alone again, Honda, Yugi, and Jounouchi having been all but forcibly removed. (Seto denied having any part in that, but the smug look of satisfaction he wore gives it all away.)

"It was NOT a crush," Seto said stubbornly. "More of an... unwilling attraction. Not a crush."

"Keep telling yourself that, big boy," she laughing patting him on the chest. "It's kinda cute." She laughed again as he crossed his arms and pouted.

"I," he stated with as much dignity as he could muster, "am not _cute_."

"Right," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Seto, you're like a petulant child who got his favorite toy taken away. You're adorable." If he had liked her, she just thought it was too bad they hadn't gotten together sooner

"Hmph."

"Deny it all you want; doesn't change the fact that it's true."

He raised his nose just a fraction higher. "Think what you want."

Anzu laughed. "Alright; I will."

It was fixed between them then that they would be a happily "dating" couple. Though Seto didn't like the utter _commitment_ the title implied, he was willing to be tied down. Once Anzu reminded him of all the perks, that is. They both looked almost stupidly pleased, though Seto was quite ready to conjure up a glare should it be called for.

They left the coffehouse, and in a sudden fit of gentlemanliness, Seto had kindly offered to escort her home. (Though only when "offered" really means "did it with or without her consent".)

"And you know else?" Anzu asked him as they were walking, the late-afternoon sun turning the whole world golden, "I'm... I'm just amazed."

"What has amazed you?" Seto asked, humoring her. "No doubt something shiny has caught your attention."

She rolled her eyes. "No, smartass, and I'm being serious. It's just hard to believe that..." She shyly reached down and took his hand, looking up at him with a soft smile. "That you actually want somebody like me. You're rich, powerful–"

"Mustn't forget beautiful," he murmured with a smirk. She just ignored him.

"And yet you're happy with plain old Anzu." He ran his thumb across the back of her hand gently, a look of complacency in his deep blue eyes. He stopped walking, and pulled her into a loose embrace. "Though, since you're never really _happy_, I'm not entirely certain that's the right expression to use."

"Don't be silly," he said. "I detest silliness. And besides..." His gaze fixed noticeably on her breasts. "You have plenty of good features to recommend you."

She couldn't help but laugh, a warm, pleasant sound. "And here I thought it was engaging, loving personality! Well, how wrong I was."

"Yes." He spoke against her skin, his lips at her forehead, the feeling of his breath making something warm flutter up in her stomach. "Very, very wrong." He leaned forward and kissed her face. "Very... very... wrong." He kissed her again, pulling her forward with a demanding little tug.

"You know," Anzu remarked casually, her hands resting on his chest, "this conversation seems to be spiraling further and further towards the realm of the vastly inappropriate."

"Well," Seto said, looking as serious as he ever had, "We'll just have to see that it makes it there, won't we?"

Anzu smiled broadly, and boldly kissed him square on the mouth. "That bit of subtle humor you have... hard to find, but it's what I just love about you."

"Oh Anzu, dear, there's no need to lie."

"Hmm?"

"We both know you just want me for my body."

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The... _**Mini-Epilogue!**

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--3 Months Later--_

Mokuba sighed happily. Putting a pair of sunglasses on, he leaned back in the deck chair. "There. Now this is what I call an afternoon."

He and his brother had invited Yugi, etc. to the Kaiba pool– a present for Mokuba from one or so birthdays ago. Seto and Anzu had conveniently disappeared, but everyone else was happily splashing around.

Yugi laughed. "I agree with you, Mokuba. It's a great day."

Honda and Jounouchi, upon noticing the exchange, paused their splash-war momentarily to join the other two. "What's up?" Honda asked, pulling himself out of the pool. He shook water out of his impossible hair, wiping the chlorine out of his eyes as he grinned at Yugi and Mokuba. "Having a nice little chat, are we?" His grin widened. "I simply must be included."

"Just saying how nice it feels out here," Mokuba answered him, "The sun shining, the weather nice– it's just a really great day."

"Yup," Jounouchi agreed, plopping himself down on the edge of Mokuba's chair, toweling off the blond jungle resting atop his head. "But you know what would make it even better?"

"Food," Yugi and Honda answered together, laughing.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Thanks guys."

"Someone say food?" Anzu announced, coming towards them with a platter of hamburgers. "Eat up boys, they're fresh."

Everyone got a plate, and sat down at the table off to one side of the pool. Even Seto, who had sworn up and down he wouldn't join them, was there, though he chose not to partake of Anzu's delicious meal.

"This is great," Honda said after a swallow. "Damn, Kaiba, if I had known you lived like this I would have befriended you a _long_ time ago."

"Yeah," Jounouchi said, his mouth full. He chewed for a moment, before swallowing so he could continue. "It's like that show. Y'know with that British guy? Yeah, that one, where all the movie stars like... get their homes shown."

"Lifestyles of the rich and famous?" Yugi asked, confused.

"Yeah, yeah!" Jounouchi said, pointing at him excitedly. "That one."

"Though, in this case," Honda said with a grin, "I think it would be the rich and ill-tempered."

"Or the rich and ridiculously obsessed with Blue-Eyes," Jounouchi added, looking smug.

"Hey, Seto's not ridiculous!" Mokuba said, defending his brother.

"Not nearly as ridiculous as you," Seto added with a smirk.

"Hmm... I like rich and arrogant," Anzu said, giving her "boyfriend" (though Seto hated the term) a little pat on the shoulder.

Seto rolled his eyes.

Yugi laughed. "That's good, I think that works best." He raised his plastic cup full of fruit juice in the air. "Here's to champagne wishes."

Honda grinned. "And kuriboh dreams."

"Cheers."

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_**...end...**_

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End A/N: Yah! But... I'm sad, too. Well, that's it, and I hope everyone enjoyed it! (I know I did.) Even though this is the last chapter, I'd still appreciate any and all reviews; they really make me feel all warm and squishy inside. I'll be back with another story soon, but for now... this is goodbye! Hope you enjoyed... "Lifestyles of the Rich and the Arrogant"! 

ALSO! I'm had, erm... maybe 2 requests for a sequel. The possibility for one is there, but I have no intention of writing it. However, if anyone else would like to venture forth an offer... Well, what I'm saying is this: if anyone else wants to write a sequel, let me know and I'll be more than happy to let you. (I'll even beta it if you want!) Well, just thought I'd put that out there... Let me know if you're interested!


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